Also understand that what goes on is not some "fantasy" or "dream ideal" of mine. Everything I'm writing sprung from one idea that I've built upon. I don't want what I write to ever happen. I don't fantasize about anything the characters do happening to me or whatever. This is creative writing and the actions these characters take is how I'm choosing to build out their own, individual personalities. They are not things I would enjoy or consider for myself. They are simply used to drive along the plot, develop the characters, or just generally make the story more interesting/ enjoyable to read and write.