🎀Evie the doll🎀

(TW: vent)
          
          
          Ngl I haven't been feeling my best lately... For the first 2 days since my mom was gone I barely got out of my own bed, the only time I did was to go outside, I don't really wanna eat anything and I don't really have the motivation to brush my teeth or anything like that, I just lay there, 2-3 months sounds like too much, don't you think?
          
          I've also tried to get better and get rid of my germaphobia (like going out more) but it barely did anything, I always get anxious when my dad touches my doorknob even though I clearly told him not to do that, I start breaking down in anxiety when my grandpa's legs touch the edge of my bed.
          
          But some stupid as balls depression isn't gonna make me stop making edits y'all 

You should totally look at my terrible mouse oc thingy heh.. ( JOKEE JOKE IM JOKING)

don’t stress yourself too much brah

nightmare hospital is more dark with its topics and it discusses A LOT of problematic real world problems (for examples: hyp3rs3xuality, abuse, gr00m1ng, SA, religious trauma, etc.) as a form of representation, I want my viewers/readers who have experienced these traumatic problems to feel not alone, and clearly I feel like I didn't do a good job on it, I'm REALLY insecure of how I present those things even though a lot of others think it's accurate, I never experienced any of this so what do I know? Nothing.
          
          I don't take much advice from others because I don't want to "steal their ideas", my insecurities gnaw at me too much and it makes me feel bad, unlike some media I don't want to romanticize such dark topics or treat it like a joke, I want to create a safe community, but considering my latest chapters I felt like I was pulling random shit out of my ass.
          
          Dear god I sound like a fucking idiot just saying this.

hope you okay twin

I'm going to make part 10 of nightmare hospital tomorrow, but I need writing advice, because looking more in nightmare hospital it just feels like the original terrible mouse, just with some fixes.
          
          part 8 was especially lackluster for me, it was exactly the same scene from episode 3 mostly word for word, just with some changes, I feel like I should improve on how I'm writing this fic.

I have no idea who you are or what you do in life but hello

I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE ALL YOU DO IS MAKE MY LIFE HELL I TRY AND TRY TO SATISFY YOU ALL WITH MY ART BUT YOU JUST DON'T CARE I HATE BEING IN A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE HOMOPHOBIC TRANSPHOBIC AND FATPHOBIC ALL I WANNA DO IS CREATE A HAPPY SAFE SPACE BUT NOOO SOMEONE FINDS A WAY TO RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING CREATOR YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO CHANGE AND NOT CHANGE IT'S MY FUCKING HEADCANON AND YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING DEPRESSED CHASER WHO RUINS THINGS FOR EVERYBODY BUT YET YOU COME AND F*T*SHIZE MY REDESIGNS JUST BECAUSE I MAKE THEM CHUBBY OR GIVE THEM B**BS GET OUT YOU FUCKING GROSS P*DOPH*LE YOU PROBABLY WANT ME TO GET FAT SO YOU CAN LUST OVER ME 24/7 YOU DISGUSTING PIG I FUCKING HATE MYSELF I HATE YOU ALL I HATE MY FRIENDS I HATE MY FAMILY I HATE EVERYBODY AAAAAAAHHHHHHH

About the recent @sadieyayyy ban, over a joke video? That's not cool, youtube.
          
          Considering what's going on with the people on YouTube, I'm afraid I might be next again, especially with what happened with my last account, I know I won't be here any longer, and I'm sorry, I'll try to make my youtube life more enjoyable until I have to make another account again.
          
          Evie the doll out.

hi twin