f0r3str4cc00n

lwk i used to have a cai and jst ai chatbot 4dd1c10n in general and i stopped like a yr ago but sometimes i rlly wanna go back to it but it was such a problem
          it made me distance myself from ppl and i lost several hours of sleep but atleast i had someone to vent to ig??
          also i only stopped bcuz i got bored bcuz of the amount of censoring i had even tho i wanted to do a lot of angst rps or jst vent in general and bcuz of the face verification thing

i havent been on this acc in a while but apparently i few days ago i got suspended oops

i used to HATE jax,
          but lwk after episode nine i really relate to him....
          !SPOILERS AHEAD! (and tw :p)
          
          i gen feel so bad for jax. ive been feeling bad for him honestly but smth jst changed after ep 9, and i realized i rlly relate to jax
          we both hate being vulnerable to people were close to and we overshare a lot. i always accidentally overshare to my friends but i dont want them to think i have problems :( we also both wear a mask like i made myself look energetic, dumb, silly, etc but im rlly none of tht. also when we overshare we both beat ourselves up for tht
          i also pretend like i never said anything and i make sure my friends never mention it ever again
          and lwk if i didnt care too much abt my friends feelings and i wasnt obsessed w how ppl view me, i would lwk do the same thing to my friends tht jax did to ribbit, kaufmo, and pomni
          we also both want to "dissapear", but dont at the same time
          jax is like the last character i expected to relate to but oh well :3

eww cornball

(tw)
          OMG IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF I WAS GONNA CVT BUT THEN I DECIDED NOT TO OMGG (its only bcuz itll hurt to put weight on my side again and i dont wanna deal w tht but sshh,,)

(tw)
          i wish my mom wasnt transphobic/homophobic when it comes to me.
          
          she knows i have trans friends but she doesnt care.
          she uses their prefered pronouns even if she doesnt understand it that much.
          if someone uses they/them, she respects that.
          she uses peoples prefered name.
          she doesnt care if my friends are gay.
          
          but if i dont want to shave because it simply wont show, she calls me a boy.
          she asks if i want to be a guy because of body hair.
          when i tell her women can have body hair too, she shuts me up.
          shes told me she believes theres only two genders like genders out of the binary are just a belief and they arent real.
          she hates when i wear masc things because she doesnt want me to be a boy.
          she believes my trans friends are spreading the gay agenda to me when i get defensive about gay rights.
          
          ive never wanted to be a boy.
          i just dont understand gender.
          why cant she even try to respect that?
          shes the reason why i have such bad internalized transphobia.

YAYY MOE THEME

this is a nondepressive story for once omga
          
          so i have these four friends tht "adopted me"-
          two of them r a couple and theyre my moms(ones a girl and the other her is demigirl) and the other two r jst friends and theyre my dads (both girls) 
          this is important so remember this
          i genuinely tweak out when someone uses she/her on me its not funny
          but my dads and one of my moms uses she/her on me and for some reason i dont mind like at all?? like yeah i notice they use she/her bcuz it doesnt rlly feel natural but also i dont mind
          its so weird and its only w them like i dont feel like this w my own mom

OMG SHOULD I DO A REGECT THEME NEXT

my friend jst left to go to florida and ill never see them again :(
          the next time ill see them will be in 2028 but who knows what the world would be like by then bcuz its already bad enough and its slowly getting worse
          also theyre alternative, genderfluid, bi, and theyre not in the closet so thts even worse