I'm drowning here
You're standing three feet away
Screaming: 'Learn how to swim!'
***
I might be a human. Or a humanoid. Or a unicorn. I don't really care, and neither should you.
Am I suicidal? Probably not.
Am I homicidal? Probably.
Have I killed someone? They were all accidents, believe me.
Do I like chocolate? HELL YES!
Am I weird? I don't know, you tell me.
***
I'm crazy.
Sorry about that, I think I forgot to take my meds today.
Gotta go, the cops are at my door.
I wonder what I did this time. Whoopsies.