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Thanks for the support and I read it and I liked it c:! As for tips I only have a few because it's already very good.
1: if you make another OC and you decide to kill them, leave a goal unachieved,
Example: (name) cried out into the air as a bullet ripped through the air and called (name)s head home.. He never even got too find his stuffed animal...
It adds drama to a character.
2: don't write at 12 am like I am right now or you end up with weird shit I swear
3: listen to music to get creativity