masterofnone🎞️

okay i’m getting a little fomo because i go back to school on friday this week but my first day back is thursday and i’m gonna be missing out on “last first day” everyone makes a big deal about. Like is it actually a big deal or nah?? 
          
          back to school list/problems 
          - fucked sleep schedule 
          - no stationary 
          - no license yet either (to niche for that overrated legal driving license. i’ve got ptsd lol) 
          - my friend crashed his car SO we’re fucked with taking public transport and i don’t trust his driving
          - my free taxi driver graduated last year (cousin) so no free rides anymore *sigh* 
          - auckland transport sucks ass 
          - my bsf dropped out for her final year (with reason, can’t even be mad she’s so happy rn) 
          
          *SIGH* fmsfcl

I PASSED!!! barely but whatever a win is a win. Also talked to my mum about how i was a little disappointed that i won’t be getting an endorsement(the gun, please.) but she said and i quote “you tried your best and passed. We don’t care if you get endorsed or not, a pass is a pass and considering the classes you took aren’t easy to pass. You should be proud”. Love how she knows what to say like what the hell would i do without my mother dearest. 
          
          anyways yeah 

guys…my end of year results come out tmr and i’m shitting balls rn, i’m so nervy i’m gonna fail my english papers, because i didn’t go to my calc, chem and phys exam because  of unforeseen circumstances lol. I was at the hospital when calc was going on and i was at tangihanga(māori funeral) for my papa when chem and phys were on . 
          
          i’ll be so for real rn, only studied for english and chem then did a bit of revision for calc because fck physics lowk. 
          
          if i fail those english papers i’m gonna crash tfo then cry about it probably‍↕️. Truthfully i actually really want a merit on at LEAST one of the two papers but i’m not gonna put my hopes higher than an achieved or not achieved so i’m not so disappointed in myself LMFO, gotta let myself down gently yk and gaslight myself into thinking i deserve that merit, considering the bs i went through during exam season lol. 
          
          but anyways wishing and praying i don’t get disappointed☺️

So like it's 3:54 and i have to get up at 5 for the first day back at school and i'm contemplating on whether i should get somewhat sleep or continue reading.