@fangirlorboy1 I know that feeling well, spent most of my childhood feeling that way. I used to look for reasons or excuses to harm myself because I thought I deserved it and waited for a good enough reason to commit. I don't have an scars because I would hit myself more and made sure my nails were short.
An important thing that remember is that the feeling is temporary but ending your life is permanent.
Maybe try writing your anxieties and feelings to express them, them write down what you are grateful for. Writing things down can also help put things into perspective.
Also: if a friend/loved one was going through what you're going through right now, how would you help them? Then, try that advise and techniques on yourself