𝐹𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑜

almost a year of a well exposed genocide... I feel guilty to be happy for anything on a personal level

i dont think that we mourn because someone/thing is gone, i think we mourn because the/it meant (in a good or bad way) something to us and now that they/it is gone, the time is gone as well. and the story is almost over if not for the memories. memories are traces. and once the holder of these memories is gone, the traces will get more and more vague till they completely fade away. and then there will be no traces left on the face of earth and no one will remember our story. maybe we mourn because parting away feels like it never existed even though end is the best evidence of existence.

i finally published the second chapter of my 3-5 year old book (that i have been scrapping and rewriting and scrapping and editing and scrapping and deleting and so on so forth)

i scrapped my book after 4 years of writing and i do not even care anymore (i do but i dont)

remembering how everyone forgot that I put them on *xyz*
          
          but if I claim that out too loud that'd make me weird

Why does *so and so* looks like ,just now she was over with her third pregnancy? (_dark humour, feel free to be offended_ ☠️)
          .
          .
          .
          a guy who used to be my classmate, texted THIS into the group chat (which has almost every classmate we've ever had in school)... and there are people who get him (uwu) and think this is funny... why don't they create a different group chat, so that the next time someone says "men are better than women" (true story) no one has to feel bothered by the mindset of sIgMaS and cHaDs and AlPhAs and the broken grammar, (seriously you go to a private school your whole life just to put 'does' and 'looks' for the same subject in the same sentence?) just get y'all a different group chat...
          
          can I say this in the group chat? can I share this piece of advice? no cuz then im the oversensitive, crazy, feminist...

someone asked me today whether im a commun!st cuz i like watermelon 

right now, the time, is a combination of such weird things... somewhere someone is building dreams of a safe, secure and bright future, with success around every corner and a warm company when there is a lack of it 
          
          then somewhere the skies are dark in the day and the nights are bustling with fire and explosions... people losing their love and lives to inhumanity, children growing up too fast, too harsh, and children losing even the slight chance of doing so... mourning and promises of bravery... unfulfilled wishes and wishes of a peaceful departure from the realm of the living...
          
          hope and the lack of it, the world is truly a peculiar place
          
          as i take my first bite, i pray for the peace of the mother who could not give her children a grain of food, as i breathe i pray for the little girl who held the mask to her sibling's mouth (losing her own life,) as i step outside under the buoyant sun i pray for the father who had to hold his lifeless babies in his powerless arms, as i sleep i pray for the doctors who witness helplessly as hospitals and such establishments are brought to the ground... i sit and watch the videos, i watch how their voices slice through the darkness of shadows, i watch helplessly, wondering whether a like and share is enough, whether hashtags are enough to save the last bit of humanity...
          i pray for truce so the little boy can find his toys and books, i pray that the displaced people can find their families and friends, i pray for the peace of the gone...

anyone else like 5sos music?

another day of feeling anxious