fatuity

hey guys.
          	
          	i have some news.
          	
          	i have published a new book called "I." the description says "excerpts from a book i will never write" (I know, not very original). if you have read my book "i." it is a second version of that.
          	
          	please check it out if you would like, but don't feel obligated to.
          	
          	thank you. i love you all.
          	
          	{ - fatuity }

tAt783

hey, one of ur fans here.
          i absolutely LOVE your stuff and u have probz seen me in the comments, lurking around some where.... hehehehe...
          i can relate to alot of ur stuff and it feels rlly good to know people out there are going through similar feelings and emotions and it makes me feel not so alone anymore. 
          anyway, i would love if u checked out my book – i'm just trying to promote some of my crap ^_^'
          if u dont have time or just dont want to, nevermind. all g <3

tAt783

here is the link:
            https://www.wattpad.com/myworks/41459467-s-l-i-p-p-i-n-g
• Reply

fatuity

hey guys.
          
          i have some news.
          
          i have published a new book called "I." the description says "excerpts from a book i will never write" (I know, not very original). if you have read my book "i." it is a second version of that.
          
          please check it out if you would like, but don't feel obligated to.
          
          thank you. i love you all.
          
          { - fatuity }

MademoiselleMad

could you please give me your sincere opinion about the following poem? it's entitled  About four billion-fourteen-forever
          
          My dearest
          Hold my hands somewhere
          I am everywhere
          My carbons went
          back to the earth
          And the cycle of the water
          Is working out
          As it falls down
          And you're drowning
          Release me 
          From the cage
          Your heart has turned
          Don't burry me in pain
          Made fields
          
          Hold my hands somewhere
          I am everywhere
          My atoms went
          back to the earth
          My bones are now already
          Turned into powder
          Then I bet please
          For you to flee
          Free from that grief
          Your sadness is dreadness 
          When I can't help
          And the reason is me
          Don't pour my soul
          To rest in pieces
          
          Of couse my dear
          The cycle of life
          Like others
          Must still go on
          Have you donated
          My organs?
          Covered me
          With dead plants
          And putted a seed
          On my stomach?
          Give my clothes to the poor
          Give my letters to beloveds
          And away
          The love you feel

fatuity

@MademoiselleMad I apologize for the late response. could you maybe dm me that link? it won't let me go to it because
            1. I can't click on it
            2. it's not valid in the search bar.
            thanks, love
• Reply

MademoiselleMad

@ MademoiselleMad I actually keep adding and removing the punctuation of that poem because sometimes I think it flows better with and sometimes without. nevermind. also take a look at this one http://w.tt/1LvayQL I prefer the one I sent you but still...
• Reply

fatuity

@MademoiselleMad I think it's very lovely! it took me a second to understand what it was about but i got it. try to add some puncuation, it will not only make the poem flow a bit smoother but it will also make it more understandable. good work!
• Reply