@faunivory
I have so much work to do that I feel bored, how do I explain it ╥﹏╥
@faunivory You get itt
@faunivory That's me, for like 3 weeks now TT
Watching Enhypen or Evan's content comforts me. For once, everything feels easy, as if I could just laugh and enjoy the moment rather than worrying about my upcoming tests or anything. I feel delighted whenever I see that a new video had been posted. It means so much to me.
People are exhausting to deal with, and I'll be completely honest about that. There are only two people I genuinely have the patience to talk to; with most others, I eventually end up ghosting them because interacting with them feels mentally draining. What bothers me most is when someone seems to have no personality of their own, no opinions, no interests, no curiosity, nothing they're genuinely passionate about. They simply agree with whoever seems more powerful, popular, or impressive to them. I find that incredibly frustrating. I'd much rather talk to someone who actually has an opinion, even if I disagree with it or even find it offensive. At least then I'm talking to a person who has thought about something for themselves.
I'm also an extremely curious person. I'm interested in details, especially the things people normally take for granted. Given that I just saw colored lights when I was out, I don't just see colored lights; I start wondering what physically produces the color, how the pigment or wavelength works, how humans developed the technology to create it, and when people first began producing those colors artificially. The same thing happens with almost everything. History especially fascinates me because so much of it has been influenced by whoever recorded it, while enormous amounts of information have been lost entirely. That bothers me because I want to know what actually happened, not simply what survived in the records.
@faunivory So, ultimately, people exhaust me, not because I expect everyone to be cheerful or endlessly interesting, but because I find it difficult to understand how someone can move through life without being curious about anything. I'm not claiming to be some endlessly fascinating person myself. I just genuinely want to have a meaningful conversation with someone who has their own thoughts, knows what they're talking about, and actually wants to understand the world around them. I appreciate people like that. They're rare, but they're the kind of people I can actually talk to. I might sound selfish, perhaps even rude or self centered but I still wanted to write it down.
Sometimes I suddenly feel a deep hatred for this world. It feels rotten to me, and people disgust me, not simply because they have desires, but because of what some of those desires can lead them to do. I believe every person has some kind of desire, the desire to succeed, to be noticed, to be loved, to have power, to be respected, or simply to feel that they matter. That's human nature, and I don't think having desires is inherently wrong. But sometimes I look at what people are willing to do because of those desires, and it makes me question whether this world is even worth living in. What disturbs me even more is the thought that I wouldn't necessarily be safe from human cruelty even after death. I don't know what would happen to my body, who would have access to it, or what people might do to it. The thought that even something as vulnerable as a person's remains could be disrespected or exploited is deeply disturbing to me. I don't know if I'm explaining it properly, but sometimes the ugliness of human nature makes the entire world feel disgusting. I hate it.
"Two fools" is so peak, I don't know why people don't like it. The melody, the lyrics it 'stuck' me with. Okay but seriously, it's such a beautiful song, people need to stop hating on it.
"Killshot" will be updated every Friday.
haaaaaaiiiii
@ heehoonslover hawaiiiu
@heehoonslover hellawww
The current plot of Killshot got so tangled that I had read everything over again, and make notes. Y'all have no idea what I'm cooking. It's actually insane when I think about it.
But I honestly feel tired, thinking that I actually have to write it all. Because it's so complicated. Because this book is way too complex that's why the other book that I'm working on, I'm making it more of comfort and quiet vibes. It's the "feel good" Book. But.. You never know.
@faunivory Ayyyie, of course look forward to it. I hope that the ending is satisfactory!!
@faunivory Trust me, it's getting so much interesting. I have some thoughts about how it's going to end but I'm pretty sure that book is worthy to be tangled like that. I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOUR SECOND BOOK TOO!! You know what, I'm counting days for the updates.
Bro it's so interesting to study about these entities like Incubus. I have been trying to search every piece of information I could get about them. Not to mention that I also went in deep to know how to summon them. (Not that I'm actually gonna try something ofc.) How do I explain to anyone that how amusing it is to study about at night, preferably 4am.
These days I've been obsessed with music. Like I can't go a single day without it. I listen to it while I go for a walk, when I write or make my clothes designs. It's somehow soothing, not having to listen to noise of this land, just the soft melody flowing through my ears. I love to listen to jazz, lo-fi, indie pop or folk driven melodies. Wouldn't it be so peaceful of I die like this?