so hey guys... I've been working on publishing more chapters of my first book but i'd like to announce drastic changes; I am NOT gonna write smut anymore. This is gonna be a book without smut and I stay by this decision.
I am just 13 and surely would feel ashamed writing sexual content. Besides it occured to me that no matter if I ship the idols irl (God forbid that) or only use their names to serve ppl's imagination- writing smut abt them is disgusting either ways. Idols are at the end of the day just like the average human too, meaning that they can see whatever the internet is showing them. They can see the smut written abt them and the romantical ships.
I personally don't want to make anyone feel uncomfy- no readers, no idols, not myself, or anyone else. Reading smut abt yourself and a friend IS uncomfy and I don't want to put anyone through this process.
I haven't written any smut yet but I feel deeply ashamed that I had the thought to do it. Nothing can justify my intention and all I can do is deeply apologize. I do feel ashamed, but I am looking forward to my future character development and hope that we all choose decisions in life that will make you learn.