I’ve had a love/hate relationship with wattpad and writing in general lately. i think one risk of posting on a site like this is as a writer, you start to rely on engagement as a measure of your work. obviously, i am so grateful for any attention any of my work has received, but i often have to remind myself that i started posting here because i genuinely love writing and i love creating storylines. i think i lose myself in the numbers, and start to have self-doubt, which is silly because i didn’t start posting with the goal of “recognition”. it’s also hard for me to read other stories while working on my own because i often find myself comparing, which i already struggle with on my own. it’s such a convoluted way of thinking because on one hand, i am SO SO SO happy for every creator on here (especially smaller ones). it’s a brave and risky thing to post your work and subject yourself to public opinion, and i want to celebrate all of you for doing so! you deserve the recognition! on the uglier side, i find myself thinking what i could be doing better—and it’s such a delicate, complex rabbit-hole way of thinking. anyway, these are just my internal thoughts that correlate to a lack of updates and lack of engagement (from my end). i love this special little corner of the internet, this is such an amazing community and you are all so cherished. thank you from the bottom of my heart for offering a safe space for so many people to pour their heart out <33