when i was 11/12 i had a hugeeee crush and i mean HUGE crush on this guy josh and literally only one person knew(it was painfully obvious bc he started avoiding me when my crush became obvious) but i think of him now and then like this guy was like the first time i had a crush like not just a proxy crush because he wasnt in my homeroom class and i genuinely had no clue what to do with my emotions so i boxed them up and i regret it everytime i think of it but the more i grow up i think... what wouldve happened anyways he was gonna go on to highschool and i was gonna be stuck in middle school for 2 more years. but it was such a weird period of life, tweenhood should have more media in entertainment for this particular reason. my emotions were so big and i had no clue what to do. i hope josh is doing well today(ik he is bc i stalked his socials lol) but he truly lives forever in my life and its crazy to think about he was my first love in a way??? bc ik he liked me back at one point anyways idk why im yapping lol
