𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙡𝙚

Thought of my mom tonight and all I could think is that she’s lucky to be dead
          
          I want to be dead

Long time since I was on this account
          Looks like I’m not as “better” as I thought

Back to wishing I could break my spine and give my family a reason to care about my health

Legit just sat and thought for five minutes straight about how I’d break my spine if I could. Like how would I do it? Is it possible to do it to yourself?

Then maybe they’d focus on me instead of all the things I’m failing at

Then they’d be forced to believe me and care

I also consider finding a way to break my spine sometimes

Today I got excited imagining going deaf cuz then maybe my family would care about my health

I really wish I could just die

And my stepdad won’t let me see my brother because he hates me and has compared me to the devil