Now this is interesting. I have written a book similar to this. Except there are no kids. And the people work for the organization. But beside the point. The pacing is a little too fast. The kids go from grieving from killing a person to laughing and kidding around in the space of a few chapters. I suggest sympathizing with the character. Put yourself in his shoes and react. If I had killed someone, and heard his screams of pain as his soul was viscously ripped from the living, I would have thrown up then and there. Also, spend some time before something major happen to the main character. Let us see the regular life before sending us to the abnormal. If you really wish for the POV to stay on the MC, make sure that you give him some kind of goal to work towards. It will help drive the plot.
