fitrilim

When I have done everything that I could for it but receive nothing in return except for insult. And that insult is the result, not because of my action but because of others selfishness. Why should I keep on giving everything that I can and I have when this is the result. Is it worth it? No, the most important question is, are u worth it?  All human have their own limit of patient. And I might have just reach mine. The last chance still will be given. But if it is still like this, then so sorry to say this, u are not worth it. 

Angry is a moment of madness. It causes one to make a tons of regretful things and words. So many regrets feel my heart for the things that I have done. Wish I can undo all the things that I have done. But it is certainly impossible. Since it can't be undone, then I pray deeply in my heart, please...please.... let my heart be far... far.... away from anger. 

Words are the way of communication between one person to another. But words are not only for communication, they are also ways to express a person characteristic. Every single words that is said and typed, show the receiver what kind of person that is saying or typing those words. A polite person will always be mindful of the words that he or she used, conciously nor not, no matter to whom those words are to. Whether it is friends, families, strangers, colleagues or anybody that he or she meet and know. Same as an impolite person, whether conciously or not, they will always show their impolite personality in every words that they use, since it is their characteristic and life style. Liars and cheaters also can be judged by the words that they use, they will be too excited to show off that they really are a good person, about the good qualities that they own,  that they sometimes use too much words to express themselves. When meeting this kind of person, be cautious. Don't just believe in every words that they say. Be clear mind and not be swayed by sweet loving empty words that is no different than dirt on the ground that can be found anywhere.  That's why it is said that words represent how is the personality of a person. So pay attention to every words that is said and that is received since it shows who is the talker or the sender. 

There are a lot of things in this world that can't be helped happening. One of them is having incompetent person as subordinate. It is not like I demand her to be perfect in her job, but at least should finish her job according to the instruction given. And to ask superior for help if facing difficult problems.  Not just to finish everything her own way and cause trouble. If it is like that, for me, she is not just incompetent but also useless one. Self correcting is the worst act ever. Cause trouble for those who are hardworking to overcome their incompetence
          

If you are asked to choose between someone who love you and someone you love, which one will be your choice?

Thank you for the follow. Your thoughts are quite wise. Im happy to have read through them.
          
          little thought from me.
          
          -No matter what color you dye yourself into. No matter how much you mold something into someone's desires or likeness. The material that you are, will never fit in perfectly no matter what you do.
          
          So rather than filling up a part of something. Why not mold something out of yourself?
          
          It'll be ugly at first but as time pass, every detail would take shape.
          
          The tower of Pisa took almost 200 years, what about us humans who only has most a hundred to live?

What I am feeling now is known as loneliness. Just listening to a soft ancient Chinese songs that I don't understand the meaning of, can make me feel as if my heart is breaking inti pieces. As if those songs are talking about the loneliness and anxiety that I am feeling in my heart. While in my daily life, I prefer to be left alone, to avoid contact with others around me so much. Playing games or reading books has the ability to divert my attention from Thia feeling for a short while. But unfortunately this feeling will appear out of no where all of a sudden. Making me feel that I need to find someone that could chase away this feeling. Someone to talk to. Someone to care for me. Someone that is solely mine. To always be there the moment needed. I am possessive. I am selfish. I am not easy to trust. But if there is someone out there that could be just like that, then I promise that this life of mine will be dedicated for that one person. My whole world will solely revolve only on that one person. But if that person is to betray me, then forgive me for my ruthless, even if I am going to hell, I will bring that person with me, with my own hands. Staining my hands with blood means nothing as long as at the end that person will stay solely mine, and noone else. 

To betrayed or to be betrayed, are we not a part of both of it. Who say that we are always the victim, and who say that we are not the assaulter. We might not realize it fully and always think that we are the victim. Yes, on one hand, we are the victim of others' conducts. But on the other hand, can we say that those, around us, are not the victim of our own conducts? Since we are both, nag when we are betrayed and try as best as we can to fix our wrong doing. Even a tiny bit of change is worth the effort. 

Human's heart is one thing that can't be predicted. One can never know what is in it. Bad person can be good person(maybe, possibly, who knows). And good person can be bad person(evil lurks in people's heart). Who can tell which of those people standing around us are true friends or not. The word 'a friend in need is a friend in deed' doesn't exist anymore. What is there, is they will only find you when they need you. And soon abandon you when you are useless for them. But remember this, every betrayer that you have suffered will make you wiser in your conduct and more careful for you to choose those to be by your side. Though it might cause you to be paranoid in life, but one cannot be too careful for the sake of one's happiness. Maybe.. just maybe one day will come to you, one who cares deeply for you, who cherries you not for your usefullness but for your being itself. Amen