@flowerduty
macam bodo la aku ni.. aku tak tahu la aku ni cepat sejuk btul dengn si bongok tu.. bru cht stu hri aku boleh layan dia mcm biase and mcm lupa apa dia buat.. aku tak maafkan dia tapi aku elok je layan dia mcm biase. like wtf mannnnnn.. mmng bodo aku ni
dia munculkan diri dia balik. dia minta maaf. dengn minta maaf tu boleh ke ubah semua bnde? dh terlanjur benci. sebb dia la punca aku kene mkn ubat psy. kalau dengn minta maaf boleh ubah semuanya app 2 kali sebulan betukr ii ubat..side effect ubat lagi. kalau boleh ubah bru minta maaf. tp tkkn berubah right. aku benci kau. aku menyesal cintakan kau 7 thun.
ngl i kdng ii teringt dekt dia. tp ingt balik apa dia ckp dekt i. i benci gila dekt dia. avoidant bukan alasan untuk dia sakitkan i. dia redflag.. i je yg bengong cintakan org redflag 7 thun
i tak boleh giveup.. i akan mulakan hidup baru i. langkah demi langkah. i takkn biarkan kata ii dia buat i jtuh and hidup dlm kemurungan.
Everything’s been getting better after she left. Honestly, sometimes I still feel hurt because I always imagined her being there through every part of my journey. So many things happened to me. the highs, the lows and she was the person I wanted beside me through all of it. But now, I hate her. I hope our paths never cross again. Still, I hope she’s happy with the one she chose. Maybe I was always just something small in her heart. Maybe I was never really there at all.
finally after depress i start new life. i cari kerja and i dapat dah kerja. i tknk jtuh dlm kemurungn disebabkan dia lagi dah. dia okay je. kenal and rapat dengn org baru. happy ii dengn org baru. org tu pickup dia and hntr balik rumah. so why i kene kemurungn yg lama disebabkan dia. this is the right time. i harap dia tk pernah munculkan diri dia lagi dah. i nak mulakan hidup baru i. and lupakan dia. i tk pernah maafkan dia. and tkkn maafkan dia
today 28 march 2026. aku tak sangka aku akan benci dia. benci segalanya tentang dia sedngkn dia sllu ada dekat dalam hti aku selama 7 thun. aku benci dia. sampai aku berharap tkkn berjumpa dengn dia dalam apa segala kemungkinan sekalipun.
mdd with psychotic features and anxious distress since 23 august 2025.
thankyou rains.
It’s been five months since I started my meds.
Somehow… I can tell I’m not the same person I was back then. I’m steadier now. My emotions don’t crash as hard. There’s this quiet calm I didn’t think I’d ever feel again. I’ve started smiling without forcing it. The happiness feels real soft, not loud, but real. I won’t lie. this journey hasn’t been easy. Sticking to the medication. Pushing myself to stay occupied. Choosing, every day, to do things that are good for me even when I didn’t feel like it. It took effort. It took strength I didn’t even know I had. But I did it. I really gave it my all.
And lately, I feel lighter. Like I’m no longer suffocating under my own expectations. I’m not trying so hard to look “fine” anymore. I’m just… allowing myself to be.
Now I’m slowly looking for a job. Trying to build something new for myself. A different life. A better one.
Today was my app with the psy. Honestly, my feelings are a mess.. everything feels tangled and heavy. But maybe getting a good doctor is its own kind of blessing. Every word that left my mouth hurt.. it’s painful to admit these things out loud. I’m still fighting this illness on my own. My medication dose was increased.. the doctor prescribed tranquilizers and sleeping pills, hoping I’d feel better within five days...I hate her. I truly do. I hate her so much that I sometimes forget how deeply I once loved her.. how I was willing to leave everyone else behind, just for her.
It’s been one month today.
A month since the woman whose words destroyed me walked away as if nothing ever mattered.
This video is my reminder not to you, but to myself of the pain you left behind.
Thank you for teaching me how cruel love can sound when spoken by the wrong person.
And I swear, I’ll make sure Fea never takes you back, no matter how sweet your lies may sound again.