I am not a very good writer but I can say that your story is a little too straight forward. Its like your forcing the readers to board a running train. You need to expand upto at least 500 words per chapter. also elaborate on the surrounding, friends, meals, descriptions of places , people that the character sees and notices. Also try a chapter which doesn't deal with her writing in the diary. Like real time happening? also juice up the plot with fancy twists. not the usual disney princess plots, okay?
