i couldn't decide if i wanted to make this post, but i couldn't just NOT, you know.
everyone has a band or artist that SAVED them; for me, it was one direction. i was pretty late to the fandom, but everyone was so welcoming and kind, and i loved it. i would watch all of their concert videos, read all of their old tweets, and read all of the larry fanfictions. their music comforted me so much, and everyday, i hoped that i could get tickets to a solo concert, or see the reunion.
yesterday, in my fourth period class, one of my friends told me that liam had died.
it was the most heartbreaking news i had ever heard, and i couldn't believe it. i spent the rest of my day hoping it was fake and that i would wake up, and it would just be a dream.
when i got home, i read all of the boys' tributes, and one direction's instagram post, signed with zayn's name for the first time since 2015. i broke down crying.
zayn's post hit me so hard. the regret and love in that letter was so raw and real that i couldn't stop sobbing.
i hope that niall doesn't feel any guilt over his death, and that he can learn to live again.
louis' promise to bear, and his "sleep well x" were so gutwrenching, and my heart hurts for liam's son and family.
i know, as the daughter and sibling of addicts, that it's so hard. it's so hard not to feel guilty and to blame yourself, and i hope that his parents and siblings know that it isn't their fault.
whether he jumped or fell, it doesn't matter. what matters is that parents lost a child, sisters lost a brother, a son lost his father, and the boys lost one of their best friends.
i hope other fans can be respectful and give them space as they mourn, and that other news and tv stations can be respectful of his privacy, especially after what tmz did and filmed.
my heart goes out to everyone grieving, whether they were close with him, or a fan that he managed to save, i know what it feels like, and i'm here if anyone needs to talk.
❤️
