J.J.

*trying to zoom in on your profile picture* are my eyes playing tricks on me? Or is that Brendon...

I'm just going to upload a handful of my drafts because I keep losing the password to this account 
          (Follow me @HaremOfScorpions for actual content)
          And my friends and I like making fun of my old ass writing. Lmao. So don't mind me.

Fucking bloody hell I just want to fucking live my life, y'know. But fuck that. I decided to be fucking dumb instead. 

Sksksksk bitcH I am goiNG TO KM S :,))

There is this one girl in our photography class who from South Africa and is pretty hated for being Muslim and today we were taking portraits and we needed a partner, and being the socially awkward fuck I am, I had to go up to the teacher be like "I don't have a partner-" and so she paired me up with this girl. I didn't actually mind because I'm not a dick bag, but when I sat next to her people around us were being assholes and making extremely offensive jokes based on her religion. 
          
          We didn't really talk much until the end because once again I have bad social anxiety, but let me just say, with the time we fucking did talk she was just the sweetest person- and ngl she took some bomb ass pics- and I actually really enjoyed working on this project with her because she actually wanted to talk to me and be friendly and work on the project. 
          But it also made me feel really fucking bad because she's so fucking sweet but because of the religion she practices, everyone just assumes she's this fucking awful thing that she's not and so they all just kind of push her off to the side. 
          
          So uhm long story short I actually fucking finally made friends with someone in high school and I'm actually pretty glad I did.  

I'm sorry all my updates are literally paragraphs long- oml

Hng fool by cavetown is a current mood. 
          
          Also I have a hockey tournament which sucks because my asthma is real bad rn, although my coach is letting me give him my inhaler now during practice n shit which is nice because I'm not going to actually suffocate.
          
          Tw: 
          
          I told my dad that I'm pretty suicidal. 
          You wanna know his response?
          "When you kill yourself you erase yourself from the earth, and in two years when you're gone, I won't think about you ever again."
          And then he went on about
          "And when they ask me what I did with my life I'll say I used to have two kids, but the oldest killed themselves when she was fifteen." 
          "My sister always said this when we were young because my dad was an asshole. You're basically telling me I'm just as bad as my father, but I'd like to think I'm a better parent than he ever was." 
          "People who take their own lives are cowards." Etc etc
          
          I then went to my room to literaLLY HAVE A PANIC ATTACk and he later came down and was like "why are you crying? Is this because of school again." 
          
          I mean, you just straight up told me to my face that if I die you wouldn't give a shit, but no, it's because schOOL-
          
          Fuck. 
          
          This is the one thing I hate about my dad. He literally just doesn't get it, but he thinks he does, and somehow always makes it worse. Other than that he's really caring and nice aside from calling me names and shit. I mean it could be worse although some of the shit he says does really effect me, like one time when I was eleven he joking said something like 
          "Yeah, keep stuffing your face, pig." As apparently a joke? When I hadn't eaten all day after school and then I actually developed an eating disorder because kept saying it to me almost every time I ate food around him. It's gotten to the point where it's literally so hard for me to gain weight and I'm a fuckin twig even though I really don't want to be this skinny. 
          
          
          But other than that he's a really great parent and shit and I'd mUCH rather live with him than my mom. 
          

Updated chapter 12 of drowning lessons :3

Oh fuck and another thing-
          My document on my computer for all my writing on NOTLD got deleted somehow??? I am really dragging my feet on re-writing all ten chapters I had, so there is going to be a slight delay on that. I'm sorry. 
          

I updated with an authors note for DL, just some notes I have for when begining the book, it kind of has some spoilers if you can put everything together from stuff I left unblocked so if you don't want to read it that's cool. I'm going to delete it in 24 hours. 
          
          I'm making progress on the story line though so expect some things to go faster. In total so far I have 22 chapters completely if not close to done on this shittttt and like?? eleven posted. (Although the ones that are done aren't in order) I think I may only get to 30, which isn't too bad considering the story is supposed to take place all in not even a year and I'm real bad at developing plots and ideas and being fucking consistent. Although I must say I feel like this book is definitely going well in at least two of those categories. 
          
          I'm also still going to take a bit of a break after I get the next chapter done because I need some time to think of more shit for filler chapters. (Yall can suggest stuff if you want. I'll most likley use it as long as it doesn't change the story line, so like suggest fluff shit. *I might add smut again soon tho so do that too)