punk ass sissy

D!SCLA!MER : 
          
          This acc isn’t for really anyone to read or pay attention to its jus for fun & to say stupid shit that I don’t want on my main acc.

tbh, things were going really fucking good and then they just dropped,
          
          i’m having really bad mood swings and i feel like shit, i don’t know what happened..

todays life update:
          
          i don’t wanna gain feelings for my friend but like-
          UGHH- 
          i just went skateboarding out in the rain to meet up and smoke w him and it was awesome.
          i’m thinking about going around 1 this morning but idk if i’d get caught-
          i really wanna see this kid and, he said “if you think you can come you should” so like- i want to but ughhh jesus christ- and im so fucking horny rn-

i literally said to a friend before hand,
          
          “i’m getting rid of my anxiety and depression wether i have to rip it out of myself just so i have the fucking guts to talk to him about it in person”
          
          what the fuck did i do wrong

i cant sleep with this shit
          
          he fucking broke up with me
          
          i cant sleep and no one’s awake at 1:40 in the fucking morning,
          
          the fact he said 
          
          “i’ve been thinking about it for 3 weeks so don’t try to change my mind” 
          
          it hurt..

so there was some stuff going on with my boyfriend, oscar, and i thought he either didn’t like me, didn’t want to talk to me, or didn’t know how to talk to me. so i was texting with my friend, ryan, who’s like one of my best friends, and brought it up because it concerned me. apparently oscar’s never been in a relationship before and i felt like total shit for assuming he wasn’t self conscious and awkward too. it’s so good to know he’s fine w me but i just feel bad for askin him about it and making it seem like he wasn’t into me, i’ll talk to him tomorrow before school though and hopefully finish sorting this out 

new vape yall

          i got high and my friend charged it for me
          
          
          and i fucking love my boyfriend 

Ilyyyyyyyyy <33
          
          And smile cos you're one of 7.9 billion people.:0

so i thought things were fine but i’ve been bottling shit up and have been unable to cry for months now and finally this evening i was pushed past the breaking point and ended up crying at a party, 
          my dad cussed at me, 
          went home, had my mom yell at me and force me outside, 
          i started breaking down crying again and ended up yelling at my mom (she was drunk), 
          tried to calm down, my dad come and work me back up, i freaked out more, 
          my friends end up going home and i just showered and im so done with all this shit rn,
          
          i’ve been fine now cuz i was able to get emotions i’ve been bottling up out, but it’s just been a hard night