Yeehaw?

so i'm like very reserved. barely speak in social interactions out of fear of judgement (social anxiety things). i keep to myself and it is hard to make any person aware of the ongoings in my brain. writing is a reflection of my brain. by extension, it is really hard for me to let people read my stuff.

something to wrap our heads around:
          2k words is about 4 pages
          5k words is about 10 pages. 
          15k words is about 30 pages.

wrote 2k words of smut last night. on theme for this account, really. will I ever upload??? fck knows?

I love love love synchronicities

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is you-er than you." 
          
          Dr. Seuss. 
          
          xoxo

just finished a one-shot I have been working on for the past couple of weeks, on and off. had the os outlined on my notion, which made the entire writing process surprisingly a lot smoother, and easier in the sense that I could walk away and come back knowing what direction to go. Whereas, when I'm writing spontaneously, and strictly mood-driven, the story tends to split off into a million little directions with no conclusion. 
          
          I guess this is why many authors swear by story outlines. It keeps them on schedule. On topic. It allows enough room for flexibility in that you can elaborate and rewrite certain bits but does not let you stray too far.

honest hour. have been staring at my screen for the better part of an hour now, with the intent to write out the bones of character profiles. 
          
          but writing character profiles means I have to dig deep. connect with them on a personal level...and I'm genuinely scared of becoming attached to them, after reflecting all my gentle weaknesses and traumas onto them. bc caring too much is scarry...
          
          u don't realize how vulnerable writing is until u see urself in the characters you've been typing into existence.
          
          im also very drunk on sleep. the caffeine's running numb.

"My heart, my hips, my body, my love
          trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch
          gave up on me like I was a bad drug
          now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club"
          
          
          not me chanting this while drafting up character profiles.