A small point of advice here, if you go Look at my FNAF Fanfiction, you can see that the dialogue of the story is much more detailed and you can see who is talking and where the dialogue is coming from. Using " Hi" is quite better than saying (Name here) : otherwise, when your prologue stated the heights and species, it just sounded like a robot, no commas and no transition words, No offense, as I'm just showing some advice for a new writer.