@fuza_1010
I just realized hindi pala ayaw sa akin ng mundo, pagod lang pala talaga ako kumilala ng bago, 7 years and 7 months ng buhay ko umikot sa'yo, how to start life and how to unlove you??, ganon kasi kadali sayo ang itapon lahat na para bang wala ka talagang pagmamahal...
Pero salamat pa rin sa 7.7years
I've always been feeling so down lately, but I couldn't say it to anyone because I know that people have their own silent battles to fight for. I choose to be alone when I'm not okay. I admit that it's hard. Nobody ever knows how much I suffer and cry alone in bed. Nobody sees how unhappy I am, and nobody has any idea how much I force myself not to give up. I often convince myself that these feelings will eventually disappear, that all my sadness will just fade at the right time, and that all the tears I've shed will just dry up. But it's just so hard to breathe sometimes. It's hard to keep lying on my bed, enduring everything that I feel because I have no other choice but to feel it. I'm so sick of it. I badly want to forget all the things and people who hurt me, but I feel like it's not going to happen. It's hard to keep going when everything feels so painful. It's hard to move forward and tell myself to forget everything that happened in the past, but the truth is, those are the reasons why I lost all my interest in life. I know it's just easy to try motivating myself, but I might be lying when I say I believe that everything will be okay. No one will ever understand. I carry a lot of pain in my chest, and I don't think that it is going to heal. Sometimes, there are just some scars that will forever be engraved on my skin.
— Shiori X
I completely understand those people who are scared to express their feelings. Some people don't give importance to what people say when they are hurt and sad, without knowing that it takes everything in them to express what they truly feel. Not everyone can understand how heavy it feels, and not everyone will ever realize that sharing what people feel inside their chest is like giving a part of them.
Just like everyone else, I am also afraid to express my thoughts and feelings. It's like telling my secrets that are buried deep in my heart, and I am afraid that they will just be judged or invalidated. I am afraid to be labeled as "too emotional" or "too sensitive" for something that really matters to me. That's why I keep everything to myself instead of telling someone that I am not okay. I get sad alone. I deal with my pain alone. I suffer alone. And I think it will always be better not to be a burden for somebody.
I hope one day everyone will stop invalidating someone's feelings and learn to understand them. Maybe that way, people like me will finally have the strength to say whatever we feel, and we will no longer have to fake ourselves every time we say, "I'm okay."
—Shiori X
-Si EX?
Hindi mo siya kaaway....
Hindi mo rin siya kaibigan...
Siya yong taong nakasama mo lang sa nakaraan na gumawa ng alaala pero hindi na rin siya parte ng buhay mo sa ngayon kase WALA NA KAYO. Maaaring sya ang dahilan kung bakit nasaktan ka ng sobra pero maaaring sya rin ang maging RASON kung bakit marami kang natutunan sa PAG IBIG.
Kaya kung babalik man siya IT'S YOUR CHOICE, basta lagi mong tatandaan "kaya pala lapis ang gamit ng bata para ipaalam sa kanila na ang MALI ay pwede pa ITAMA at kaya naman ballpen ang gamit natin para ipaalam sa atin na hindi na tayo bata para ulit ulitin ang pagkakamali na hindi na natin kayang BURAHIN PA
Sometimes I feel so alone, even when I'm surrounded by people. I feel so empty, even when some people try to make me happy. I'm so sick of this feeling. I feel so incomplete, and a part of me feels so broken. My mind couldn't stop thinking too much. There is a monster inside my head that tells me I'm worthless, I'm miserable, and I'm completely lost in the dark.
I feel like I am slowly losing myself. And I'm silently tearing apart for the fact that I couldn't even help myself. This life feels like a nightmare to me. I wish I would wake up feeling something again. One day, I wish all the negative feelings I have would just be gone so that I could live a normal life.
—Shiori X
There are times where I just feel so lost and miserable. I feel so tired whenever I wake-up, and no matter what I do, I just can't be happy. No matter how much I try to cheer myself up, I still feel like drowning in sadness. Sometimes, I ask myself what went wrong. What happened to myself? I don't understand what I feel. I just know that there's something off.
I try to forget about this misery. Every night I pray for my silent battles to end soon. Or at least I have more courage to face the world every day. But sometimes, I feel so lost that I don't even know what to do with my life anymore. It's so frustrationg to think that I am not okay and I don't know what to do to make myself feel better. Sometimes, I just want to give myself a hug too.
— Shiori X
I am tired of losing myself to uncertain relationships.
I am tired of punishing myself over the things that I prayed to work, but didn't. I am tired of wasting my nights being sad over someone who wouldn't even be happy being with me.
I am tired of losing my peace, settling on unclear intentions, and living on good old memories.
I am tired of romanticizing black and white future. I am tired of looking for people who do not want to be found. And I am tired of running away from my worth.
I just want to be with someone whom I can celebrate good little things with, share my secrets and dreams, and who can effortlessly make me love myself more.
I just want to be in the arms of someone who's also tired of playing games, living on false hopes, and singing goodbyes.
So, if you're tired, too, please meet me here. I won't mind offering my shoulders for you to lean to, my hands for you to hold, and my heart for you to rest onto.
Grow with me. Chase the calm with me. Above all, be tired with me—so we don't have the energy to leave.
"Someone once told me I can be as sad as I want just make sure I’m still doing things and that has changed the way I view everything. I’m like it’s fine that I’m sad right now but let me go be sad at hot yoga and be sad while I’m taking my vitamins and be sad while I’m learning ceramics and while I’m completing my tasks. This might sound depressing but for me it’s so elevating. Because I know in like December, for example, I will be able to look at how much I’ve expanded myself and it won’t matter that I was sad in November because sadness doesn’t stick. It’s what you do that shapes your life. And I kept doing things. And I shaped my life."
- Unknown
Sometimes, I regret being the one who absorbs others’ rants and dramas. It’s hard to offer advice when deep down, I’m struggling with my own hidden battles, trying to solve them in silence.
I want to connect with others’ pain, to make them feel understood, but in doing so, I often neglect my own wounds. The weight of their problems, combined with my own excruciating emotional burden, leaves me feeling drained and alone, unable to find the solace I need.
I’ve come to realize that I can’t always be the pillar others lean on. There are moments when I long to step away, to let go of the responsibility of holding others up, but a part of me still wants to make them feel secure. Yet, I know I need to retreat, to focus on healing myself. I owe it to myself to find peace, to process my thoughts in solitude, and to be there for my own well-being. So, for now, I need to take care of me, to find the strength to heal, so that one day I can return and offer my support with a heart that’s whole.