gabethedoggo2

i do, in fact, still love my wife

gabethedoggo2

Okay y'all, big boy talk. Where were the Minions on 9/11? They left the ice cave in 1968, so they can't use that excuse. What about other heinous atrocities that occurred after that point? Mai Lai? The Munich Olympic Massacre? The Iran-Contra affair? OJ Simpson?
          
          Their solo movie, Minions (2015), established that they follow the "most evil [sic]" people, or the like.
          
          Based on this information, I have devised one of two theories: 1 - Gru, who it has been implied that the minions have been following since shortly after the end of their exile, has committed even more devious acts of villainy than the above examples. Or, 2 - The minions have a completely alien view of the concept of evil, and therefore do not comprehend fanatic terrorism as being worse than cartoon supervillain plots, as the rest of society conventionally would.
          
          Do you think they would have assisted Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge, or would he have counted their goggles as eye glasses and executed them?
          
          Whose side did they take during the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan?
          
          I must ask, as I cannot trust Illumination to provide adequate answers in the forthcoming prequel sequel.

myfirstnameisagent

im
• Reply

gabethedoggo2

Severus Snape was an epic gamer in the Harry Potter books who was just being oppressed by women, chads, minorities, and society. That's right. To start, like the most oppressed gamers, Snape had a Veronica, known as Lilly Potter. Snape did nothing to offend his Veronica but she was taken from him by CHAD JAMES. This CHAD had constantly oppressed Snape through his early gamer years but ended up MARRYING VERONICA instead of him. This truly shows the beginning of Snape's oppression. Not only is he oppressed by this stupid Chad and Veronica, but a minority oppresses him too: Albus "canonically gay" Dumbledore. Snape makes it very clear that his dream job is to be a true DARK ARTS GAMER and pass on his gaming skills to the next generation. But year after year, gay boy Dumbledore, a MINORITY, denies him his true job and makes him teach POTIONS. But the worst thing Snape was oppressed by was SOCIETY. Everyone reading these books thought SNAPE was the bad guy, Snape was awful and evil simply BECAUSE HE WAS A GAMER. But you know what's the most epic part about this? SNAPE ROSE UP. He KILLED THE MINORITY THAT OPPRESSED HIM. He taught Chad and Veronica's son THE TRUTH ABOUT GAMERS. And in the end, HE DIED A GAMER HERO. This is truly the most epic story of a gamer being oppressed in literature. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

gabethedoggo2

i hereby challenge twitter user lokisnakes to a duel in the parking lot of the portillos on west ontario street in chicago at 3:22 AM cst. leave your snakes at home, buddy, because we will be fighting with our bare fists. be there or be square.

gabethedoggo2

i want owen wilson to cum in me and just stay inside and both fall asleep attached n while we're sleeping his cum just hardens into a solid wax-like cast inside of my pussy and its like his cock is a caterpillar inside of a cocoon and when he finally pulls out of me it's a butterfly cock

gabethedoggo2

Scrat from Ice Age is the only thing in my life that keeps me going to follow and complete my purpose in this world. In 2006, my wife was almost hit by a car, but Scrat pulled her out of the way at the last second and saved her life. He then became friends with us, and helped us to deliver our baby which we had various months later after the incident. Me and my wife decided to name our son Scrat Jr. in honour of him, we also took the decision of making Scrat his godfather that same day. 
          
          In 2011, my son was nervous of entering school for the first time as he might be bullied due to his special condition he contracted when he was born, but Scrat was there to help him out and make new friends and earn good grades in any subject he didn't understand. When I contracted kidney cancer back in 2013, Scrat donated one of his kidneys to me to replace it and helped me to recover from cancer. When my grandfather was about to die due to cardiopulmonary problems in 2016, Scrat gave him RCP and saved his life. Scrat has done several things for the well-being of me and my whole family, Scrat is truly a saint and a hero, and is the man we should all look up to in life to love and take care of us.