gardenfairy155

Also I moved out 

I am saddened to announce that I no longer support/watch Crayator.
          
          It’s a whole thing that I will get into soon, but just had to put that out there :(

hey besties, happy new year 
          
          
          so i was a camp counselor summer of 2021, did some full time babysitting / organizing gig but they moved :(
          
          So now i’m trying to be like a content creator on youtube but have like 0 motivation :)
          
          I want to have like a part time “real life” job, while also having side income from online, so like Youtube, Tiktok, Wattpad and maybe selling art on the side as well…
          
          Billie Eilish concert is next week ahhhhhh
          
          Umm, oh there’s this ball….And i’m so interested in how that’s gonna go….like so many possibilities
          
          I’m just trying to get this gig at a daycare….i just messaged them like a few minutes ago because it said they reviewed my application so
          
          I’m really passionate about the story I’m writing and it’s sort of cool! 
          
          I’m also wondering how I can make all of these messages private
          
          Still a supporter of the one and only Crayator :)
          
          MY HAIR IS RED FINALLY
          
          OH and about losing weight, I ended up stop taking the pills because of the job I got in Colorado as a camp counselor, and figured I would naturally lose weight with all the hiking and stuff and I did, I lost like 10 pounds. And plus I had started taking this shot to lose weight and that PLUS the pill would be like starving myself so I think I stopped taking the pill a few weeks before I went to Colorado in May but I was taking this weekly shot that shortened my appetite that I started back up actually the minute I came back from Colorado
          
          So all together I’ve lost like 20 pounds :)
          
          I tried to get a membership to the gym right, like when I came back from Camp and I was making stable money…Well that was before they moved and boom no more incoming money and I ran out of money and can no longer afford it
          
          I’ve been putting it off, but like I need to cancel the shit
          
          

the worst update ever my goodness...... 
          
          
          in other news, im still a supporter of Crayator, I literally have the best times in his streams. im actually currently watching a VOD from today
          
          
          the end of 2019 and the start of 2020 WHOOPED MY ASS
          
          everything has literally been so weird and ive been hanging on a thread honestly
          
          my relationships, my brain, my weight, my unmotivation, this pandemic i mean just everything has been EXPLOSIVE
          
          i reallllyyyyy hope things get better because i cant stand like this life right now or my existence
          
          
          everything sucks so badly sometimes that i dont even know what life is like what the purpose of life is
          
          im anchored by my sister and movies and cray and music, but sometimes im like god this is exhausting, just waking up
          
          i graduated in 2020 of december, and like im just so lost and in a dark place, not gonna lie
          
          i just find it hard to like, like my life i guess
          
          
          HOW DARK IS EVERYTHING I JUST WROTE
          
          i wish i could write more positive things, but most of the time i feel invisible, misunderstood, forgotten and like useless....like everything in the world is wrong and i dont know what to do with myself....like im silently going crazy but im totally sane in the same breath
          
          i just need to find something that will motivate me because sometimes i feel like everything anchoring me to this earth is just going to snap one day and there will be nothing i can do about it 
          
          
          
          i hate that my life didnt go as i had anticipated in 2020, but im really like hoping, begging for this year to be different for me
          
          
          
          to end on a good note, i impulsively bought these weight loss pills from a distributor on tiktok, i know... i used to make fun of this app lmao, and it sounds so sus, “i got a product off tiktok”... but i did my research and its basically a detox pill to help you burn off far, so it comes in tomorrow and im super excited to lose weight :)
          
          happy new year

okay so 2020 just ended and - well.........a deadly virus soared through the whole earth and millions of people died....and we’re still currently in this pandemic because we cant get it together i.e Americans, i.e. stubborn people who don’t believe in masks

Update - i never worked out during winter break hahahahaha 

2021 i -

During the winter break I want to start working out again 
          
          

I want Christmas to come so bad :(
          
          I’m also in a wedding POG so I need to get my dress altered....
          
          I’m trying to eat healthy but I’m a stuff eater GROSS
          
          I’m nervous for finals but all I gotta do is study really hard and I’ll be fine :,)

ALSO how could I forget
          
          Outlander is amazing! I started it about two weeks ago and I’m on season 2 right now
          
          I will say that season 2 is less about romance and more about changing history 
          
          So it’s quite boring atm, well not boring but very business vibes like setting up for something big so it feels like filler episodes rn - but I know that something big is about to happen
          
          Yeah I’m enjoying the series - it’s not my favorite!! But it’s definitely entertaining! And they have a fabulous cast