rat president

Bro I miss my wattpad homies 

My issues are issuing
          (That sounded funnier in my head)

Sometimes I get really sad because I used to be really funny and cool and shit but then I just call up Taylor Swift and together we steal little kids scooters and cruise down the streets of New York city. One time Taylor and I met James Charles as we were passing by a Kfc. He was wearing a black bandana around his ankle which was a definite sign of illegal activity 
          „A THIEF“, Taylor exclaimed immediately in a high pitched whistle note. Of course thievery is something Taylor and I cannot condone so we scootered after James Charles. He had heard Taylors whistle note and began running.
          I have to say James Charles is a surprisingly fast runner and had I not quickly knocked him off his feet with a mind blowing knock knock joke (knock knock - who‘s there? - Nunya - Nunya who? - Nunya business) we would have lost him.
          We ate his food and stole his mascara. That was a really great day. 

LouisinatanktopLouisinatanktopLouisinatanktop

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THIS TO ME? HOW CAN ONE BE SO CRUEL?
          (found out Louis sings 505 on tour and I‘m not going)

I SAW STOCKHOLM SYNDROME LIVE 
          
          (someone please help, I‘m going insane)

I had a dream where I was in the hunger games and the arena was a huge playground like one of those wooden houses that you had to climb to get to the slide and I almost died but then a guy (I was a guy too btw, that's not really necessary information though) who looked like the blonde actor of peter pan rescued me and we escaped the arena through one of the slides after he stabbed madam pomfrey. 
          I hope you have great dreams too. Bye.

Hello, I thought I would give a little life update: So a couple of days ago I was supposed to meet up with this really cool person and I really wanted to see them but half an hour before we were supposed to meet they cancelled our plans and I got so sad that I ran all the way to the Brooklyn bridge and wanted to jump. I had my last words all planned out. I was going to say:" fuck you, Lana del Rey" (because it was Lana del Rey that I was supposed to meet. #cancellana2023forabandoninggirl). I got on top of the rail thing and spread my arms. I jumped. But in the last second a pair of musculous blue tentacled caught me.
          "It is not your time yet, you need to see my swamp", said squidward. I was very angry because I had not managed to off myself but I was also vefy fascinated by squidwards squeaky manly voice and answered: "Dear lovely squidward, I would be honoured to visit your swamp". So him and I traveled to his swamp where he lived together with spongebob. Spongebob wanted to eat sushi with us but squidward and I were too busy telling each other knock knock jokes. It was so beautiful. All of a sudden the door burst open. "MY SWAMP" squidward screamed, but I couldn't care less because there she stood: Lana del Rey. She had two cigarettes in her mouth before she threw one at spongebob and one at squidward. Both of them died. "You have replaced me for a man?", she asked. I hadn't known squidward was a man and answered: "You cancelled pur plans and he rescued me. I am mad at you." Lana said:"kill yourself or get over it". It is something she likes to say a lot. I got over it though and we married with Shrek as our brides maid.
          That was just a little update. Bye, I hope you got to eat your favourite cheese these past days.

Hello, how are you today?
          I personally am doing very bad because I just found out that there's actually people who hide blades in the cracks of water slides and now I can never go on a water slide again. I hope you already knew this, otherwise i would feel bad. 
          One time I was wearing a Nirvana T-shirt in a store and an employer came up to me and said "cool shirt" or something and held out his arm and I was confused and almost shook his hand but in the last second I saw that he had a tattoo of Kurt Cobain. This guy was really good looking and cool (because of the tattoo) and he kinda laughed at me. That was embarrassing. 
          You know how when there's a couple or a ship in a movie or tv show and then people start shipping the actors? There's people who ship Jack Dylan Grazer and Finn Wolfhard. And honestly that is a very unfortunate shipping name.  
          I hope you have a great third of december, bye

i love ur pfp sm