gentlewishes

when your account is deader than your life

-PAINN

꧁ STARTER : REVEALED 
          
          xander ’ s house was a mess . all the drawers were turned over , things were thrown all over the floor and some vases as well as other furniture were broken or thrown . there was no intruder , this was all xander ’ s doing . he had woken up from a nightmare , his father and the accident that occurred . all because of him , all because he was a weak and useless idiot .
          
          his depression seems worse . more controlling of him then the usual daze . it told him how to tack the pain away . the blue - haired mage was looking for something , anything sharp . and he had found one little jackknife . he flipped it opened and closed while lying against the kitchen cabinets on the floor . xander stopped flipping it for a second to study the blade . the male had no use for the knife so it was sharp from no usage . he imagined what it would be like for his blood to stain the pristine silver . he waited though , hoping someone would stop him . because he knew , if he started this he would never stop .

gentlewishes

@incoherentsteel- 
            
            * three years later * ; 
            
            " yeah ... ? " zuko encouraged the other man the continue , taking a deep breath of his own and listening to every word he spoke , not wanting to miss anything . his dark colored eyes slightly widened , zuko had an idea of what happened that day , but he could never be for sure without hearing the entire story from the other male which he dared dearly about .
            
            " no , no , xander — hey , look at me . " his smooth voice was barely above a whisper , one of his hands going over to lift up his chin gently .  " that’s not true — you , , you have saved so many people . "
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-PAINN

⤷ @gentlewishes
            
            he gripped onto zuko ’ s shirt as if it was a lifeline . ❝ one day , i heard from the other kids that there was a monster inside the forest near the village we lived in . ❞ xander laughed bitterly . ❝ i thought ‘ this is my moment . now i can be a hero just like dad ’ . it was a stupid idea . ❞ the memories started flashing before his eyes . xander ’ s breathing became labored and heavy . blood , dirt , screaming , crying . a weak little boy who can ’ t do anything .
            
            ❝ i was wrong . i was so wrong . i can ’ t be a hero , i can ’ t save anyone . ❞ the blue - haired mage stayed . his voice cracked , filled with sorrow and emotion . tears streamed down his face .
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gentlewishes

@incoherentsteel- 
            
            
            the black haired male let out the smallest gasp of surprise when the other male hugged him . he didn’t deserve to be hugged , especially after what he just told him .  zuko hesitantly wrapped his arms around the other , his head resting on top of his .  his lip slightly quivered but he took deep breaths , knowing better than to cry about this again . slowly pulling away his hand reached out to hold the others , listening to his story . 
            
            zuko nodded his head , gulping down the lump in his throat .  the black haired male might’ve took lives , but xander was hurting just as much , and he had the right to . hurting your own father , the man you looked up to at such a young age would definitely make an impact on someone.  his hand rubbed soothing circles on the other’s, encouraging him to go on .
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