In my private life, since I was 17 years old, I have strived for self-improvement. Around this time, I decided to lose weight, even though I was not overweight or had any body fat. The result is restrictive diets, jogging, and the gym. So, unnoticed by myself, I became a fan of the cult "Thin means beautiful." Partially, anorexia nervosa was balanced by another cult - bodybuilding. So, for more than 30 years, in the fall, winter, and until April I gained weight with the help of muscle mass, and from April the maximum I was losing weight. As soon as I gained weight of just over 85 kg with a height of 185 cm, I felt "fat." Then I switched to another diet and lost weight, sometimes up to 75 kg, I seemed to myself with no muscles at all. In the end, I fell ill with depression, but then I still didn't know what was happening to me. At that time, I trained a lot ate little, and also systematically starved. I had a major depressive disorder and attempted suicide (2008-2012).
At this point in my life, I realized that I was treating myself like my own worst enemy. I hated my body, my sensations, and feelings, the manifestation of my emotions, my temperament, my character, and my behavior. I experienced constant feelings of guilt and shame. A complete crisis in my life prompted me to reconsider my entire life. Therefore, for 7 years (2012-2019) I have been engaged in research related to philosophy, aesthetics, psychology, nutritionology, physiology, biology, theology, genetics and epigenetics, sociology, cultural studies, and interdisciplinary sciences. As a result, I learned to lead a balanced lifestyle. It improved my health, and my figure and I learned to love myself. In 2019, I began writing my first book, "What's Wrong with the Diet? Physiological Component of Diet" (2023).