ggeejj

tonight I just feel sad.

ggeejj

CRUSH THREAD Part III
          
          7. This guy is 1 of my batch during second degree. 2 years older than me. there is scandal of me & him during of studies. but later its die down. During that moment, I keep myself away from him because 1. I'm shy. 2. I don't know how to communicate with him 3. I don't want him feel burden of me. Actually because of that gossip and scandal, there is a feeling grow from that, but I just keep cool and play safe. He is a sensitive and good man. kind and always help others. and he is a poetic guy with his poems and idealogies. Today, both of of separated with out own life. Then someday I decide to know him more (he is my husband choice material). I add him as friend in FB and stalk him. But after reading all his status, I found hint that he is with somebody. I even dream him as my husband. but the end result, I feel sad because My heart told me, he already has someone and getting to marry.
          
          So thats all the crush and the man  I like but never declare my love with them and never have good ending with them. Most of them already married and even the last man I want to approach already have someone and it is also my fault. too late approach him. And most of them, I don't even know either they like me or not. All one-sided. Poor me.
          
          Hope someday I will my love and he love me back and not one-sided anymore. I'm waiting for you, my husband.
          
          Please make me happy.

ggeejj

CRUSH THREAD Part II
          
          6. I finished my first degree. then continue for my second degree and met another guy and I had crushed on him during my last year of my 2nd degree. The sad one was, I considered to approach him and tell him that I like him BUT luckily I'was  not brave enough to declare my love. I tried to make him pay attention on me, we always talk with each other and he always come to my desk and discuss about designs but I barely late, He and one of my friend just start to like with each other. they fall in love during the intern which the comute together from the hostel to the inter's firm. During final year, my girlfriend took study leave and further her studies in overseas leaving him here. But before my girlfriend when there, they engaged and married. their relationship took one year and boom, they decided to marry. they invited me to the wedding but I told them I can't go because I had another commitment on that day. Luckily both of them, never knew I like him. It took me one year to heal my heart. We still friend until today but not close as much as during study. I stop active in our batch group and barely involved in the discussion because I feel awkward. (Today, they have 2 kids)

ggeejj

CRUSH THREAD
          
          1. My first crush when I was 13-15 years old. My first cry for a crush I never confess because I was too shy.( not sure married yet or not but he is engaged)
          2. Then, when I was 16, I was transfered to another school and meet another boy. Within that two years 16-17 years old, there were three crush. All of them were school's prefect; head and deputy and department chief. I had crushed with them because they looked perfect ( one married with a kid & others lost contact)
          3. Another crush when I met someone after finished high school and knew him because we involved in the same organization. During that time, I like the Chinese look boy. (Now he already married.
          4. Next, during foundation. I befriend with my ex- head department ( same organization with guy no. 3. We were in same course but later he changed and transfer to other country to further medic. We always backbiting each other but it is a good moment because I am free to say anything without contraint. however, after 2 yrs, we lost contact and next two years, I heard he married the one in same course with him there. (Today, he is married with a daughter)
          5. After lost contact with the guy no 4. I befriend with one guy which both of us in charge on publication and promotion. We always discuss and chat with each other using YM during that time. During my 2ndyear university, suddenly he stop reply to my meseg and every reply is too late or no respond at all. That year I was in depression because I knew I love him so much and wait for him to approach me. But it just one sided love. I taught during that time, some his status are for me, so I feel happy but that status is not for me. I knew about that because one day my bestfriend saw him had a lunch with a girl. than start from that moment, I also saw them dating around the campus. I felt relief, sad, anger, hate and I cried. the woman he will wait for is not me, but her. (now, he is married with a kid. marry the same woman he wait and date in campus)

ggeejj

Looking at you and your love one happily holding hands like the world is yours. Here at the corner, your smile never reaches for me and I thirst of it. She never knows my existence-your mistress. And you never take me worth for even a piece of your love, just a   place for realising your carnal. Now I let you go bear not anymore this heartache of waiting for you to look at me back not me always looking at your back.
          - idea for a story-
          P/s; but I'm not a write even I have lots of story plots.