One of my friend also mentioned about you to me. I'll just say few things which you already know but still
Life is sometimes beautiful, sometimes slowly painful. You had a bad time losing your mother. But trust me, she's resting in a better place now. And your mother won't want you to be sad, so stay happy for her. She'll watch her kid from up there. So stay happy to have your mother happy. Your mother wouldn't want you to give up, so live your life and work hard for your dream. If you feel like everything's messed up, you can't do anything anymore and you're feeling like to give up, remember your mother's watching. You need to make your mother proud, she's smiling at you, so stay happy
(Ik I'm a creepy stranger)