ghost and rose :]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS ENTIRE THING SO SORRY [SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION, SH, ED and TRAUMA]
          
          
          here's a mental health update by the way for ghost:
          
          I'm pretty sure I'm bipolar due to having many of the symptoms so that's a start. I'm diagnosed with depression, anxiety and ADHD but I pretty sure I'm also autistic and bipolar (like i said before) I get really bad mood swings so often that I wonder why my boyfriend is still with me (he's been with me for 4 months) and my sh problems haven't gotten better I've relapsed so many times, I wanna die most of the time and I've actually thought through how I'd do it. for my eating problems which I don't know whether to call it an ED or not has gotten worse to where if I'm at an event where I have the choice to eat or not I just don't and most of the time I have one meal per day because I hate being fucking fat, I hate my stomach and I hate myself so fucking much. I'm a terrible person and an asshole. I don't know why the little amount of friends I have are still my friends. on the bright side though I'm hyperfixated on the outsiders again (way more extreme tho) so it's a nice escape from this shitty place called life. also my sh has gotten so bad that now I'm doing it on both arms and deeper with scissors which is so much worse than when I started. I don't know why I'm even talking about my "problems" mine aren't even that bad my friends have all the real important shit going on, I'm too fucking scared to sh with a razor cause it hurts too bad. maybe people are right and I just do all of this for attention. I wonder when I'm actually going to go through with killing myself. maybe tomorrow or maybe right after my 16th birthday on April 17th. who knows? maybe I'll just go to bed and not wake up the next day. maybe I'll die and go to hell like everyone tells me to then people will like me. people don't like me or notice me now, maybe they'd like me better when I'm fucking dead. 
          
          -ghost 

another update, still dating the same guy I said last time. I'm gender fluid and pan and still not mentally stable WOOHOO
          
          -ghost 

update on my life uhhhh I'm gonna turn 16 in April, I have a different bf than the guy I was talking about in the last update and I'm still a dude :]
          
          -ghost

so fun little story uhhh the guy I was with we ain't together anymore lmao and I have a crush on a different guy and he's cute and I'm in love tee hee
          
          -ghost

i hope this isnt a different account that took the name gh0stblossom after the other one but oh well..
          
          if you know me, it's soil. if you don't, its fine and dont mind thiss

I GOT A BITCH I HAVE A BOYFRIEND

Thanks so much for the follow!

@Frogleap1234 sorry I didn't respond too soon
          But yw! And yes W A R R I O R S

i have a story about (ptsd i dont really know how to classify it so warning for all of that)
          
          so when i was still in 8th grade i was walking to p.e as one does and then i saw this girl tackle this other girl and beat the shit out of her and its my first fight that ove ever seen and i was the first one there (i also knew both girls) and i start just fucking crying and standing there frozen wanting to do something but i physically couldnt move and i felt like it was my fault and then more recently (end of june) i was at the church thing (ew) amd guys were saying how men are stronger than women and that boners are worse than periods and i was not having that so i was spitting facts at them but they weren't shutting up about it and then later my friend told me that their counselor said they're gonna get sent home and that made me cry because no one deserves to get sent home just like how the girl who got her ass beat, she didnt deserve that pain so i was basically reliving the fight. i wamted to vent about that because closure ig but i am feeling better mentally... for now ok bye 
          
          -ghodt

rip technoblade and fuck cancer man... ima be real for a moment i had cancer when i was 1 (liver cancer) and it makes me feel like shit that i got to survive but others dont 
          
          now here is a tw for self harm, suicidal thoughts, starving myself and other really shit mental stuff :]
          
          i havent been doing good mentally and i started cutting again after like almost a year of not cutting and im mentally and emotionally hanging by a fucking thread and im honestly getting to the point where i just wanna fucking kill myself and there are times where i just dont fucking eat because i want to loose weight cause im tired of everyone in life being on my fucking case about everything im just fucking done with all of it. im really sorry to anyone i ever made upset or mad, i just want everyone else to be happy.
          
          -ghost