ghostybae_

I’ve never felt less pretty than I have been since losing weight. None of my clothes fit, none of the undergarments I need are pretty, and if they are, I can’t wear them due to they’re style, bc of how it’d make my chest look.
          
          I don’t know any of my sizes, my mom refuses to take me shopping irl so I can see shit for myself and not be fooled. I think my chest size keeps going down, and for how much I complained and wanted a breast reduction, I miss the fuckers.
          
          I can’t measure myself properly bc I can’t hold everything I need to hold to make it accurate with just two hands, and the tape slides everywhere.
          
          I haven’t wanted to be pretty and girly since I was 8 years old. It was never a huge issue. Sure, some meltdowns here and there about being fat with similar issues I have now, but I’d found solutions for most of that. This new found skinniness isn’t like that.
          
          
          I’m crying day and night bc even though I’m “skinny” I still can’t be pretty.

Earrings doesn't have smut because it's abt kids but thank u for adding my book to ur story! Really appreciate it!

Hey so they said that they haven't blocked u but that they'll try to figure out what's wrong! I really hope you can figure it out cause I agree their stories are really good

@solar_fIare I think you accidentally muted or blocked me, as I’ve been unable to respond to anything on you’re wall since the day of my last reply about one of your books

Ok, so Wattpad is DEFINITELY taking stuff off of my reading lists, fyi

Such bullshit. Meds came in and these are the side effects 
          
          * Feeling anxious or trouble sleeping
          The most common side effects of fluoxetine tablets include:
          * headache
          * weakness (asthenia)
          * pain
          * accidental injury
          * infection
          * flu symptoms
          * nausea
          * diarrhea
          * trouble sleeping (insomnia)
          * dizziness
          * feeling anxious or nervous
          * thinking differently
          * sexual problems
          * runny or stuffy nose (rhinitis)
          * sore throat (pharyngitis)
          
          
          It’ll give me MORE FUCKING ANXIETY ON TOP OF THE CRAZY AMOUNT ILL ALREADY FUCKING HAVE????
          
          *AND* ITLL GIVE ME INSOMNIA WHEN I ALREADY HAVE THAT AND ALREADY HAVE TO TAKE MORE SLEEP MEDS THAN PRESCRIBED???
          
          AND ITLL CAUSE MANIC EPISODES AND MAKE THEM WORSE????
          
          Fucking HORSE. SHIT.

Guys my stupid fucking new meds still haven’t come in. We’re just wasting fucking time. It takes 2 motherfucking months to see if it even WORKS. I don’t have all the fucking time in the world to figure this shit out. It needs to be done by February, preferably January
          
          I’m freaking out. Idk if they’ll even switch me to another med if it doesn’t, they’ll probably just up it, and it STILL WONT WORK, BECAUSE SSRIS HAVE NEVER FUCKING WORKED BEFORE, WHICH WE TOLD THEM.
          
          I’m pissed and anxious and feel like I’m going to have a panic attack.

When to my psychiatrist and she put me on Prozac, an SSRI. In the past SSIRs have not worked, but the ones I took were for suicidal stuff, not anxiety, which this one is. 
          
          
          Unfortunately, it takes 2 months minimum to see any change. I go to Disney and Universal in February. I do not have a lot of time to be messing with this, especially if it doesn’t even work. I start as soon as they’re ready for pickup.
          
          We’re doing 10 for 2 weeks then 20 from then on. Check back next month to see how the side effects are affecting me, if at all. 
          
          I’m already getting a shit ton of side effects from hyperthyroidism, I’m afraid that it’ll make it even worse.
          
          AND it says that it’ll INCREASE ANXIETY at first, and MIGHT wear off. Psych said NOTHING about this. I do NOT need something to make my already unbearable shit WORSE.
          
          
          So fucking sick of this shit.

YALL. The teacher I had a little sorta relationship with in high school just GOT ARRESTED FOR A STUDENT/TEACHER RELATIONSHIP. THE FUCKING IRONY. THAT COULDA BEEN ME.
          
          Like y’all, I LITERALLY joked I would be his 4th wife, and that he’d leave his wife for me (I think it was an open marriage anyways) like WHAT????
          
          Btw, I was 18 when me and him had a little something. I DO NOT encourage underage relationships. As long as everyone is legal, it’s fine. Taboo, but fine.
          
          Like I got a little taste of my secretly old favorite teacher/student trope, and I was satisfied, but this girl went ALL OUT.
          
          None of the shit that has happened this year has been on my bingo card LMAO

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE WEATHER IS LIKE IN ORLANDO FLORIDA IN FEBRUARY???
          
          PLEASE tell me if you do! Need to pack appropriately