@ghostygrizzlebear
Too many nights of darkness
Isn't it normal just to fall asleep?
Usually music makes me forget of the trauma...
But it's not working anymore...
Medication...
Meditation...
Hypnosis...
Herbs...
Tea...
It's all the same
I could never dream anyways....
I scream at people
Threaten
Hurt
I can't handle the pain...
They all caused it...
Mother caused it...
Why?
Must I cry?
Just to bottle it all up inside...
And to only scream in my head...
Social Workers you say?
Already tried them...
They don't work..
Besides
I only tell them half
If I could say more
Somebody would get hurt...
Me
I am done. I cannot do anything anymore. Nothing I do is right..
What's the point of trying?
I try too hard I make mother happy, but she just makes fun of me...
She is never proud and she treats me like a prisoner..
Locking me away from society...
She tries to take away the only things keeping me sane, she takes me away from my father.
She takes away my friends and any form of social skills away from me.
She's a theif, and all she spits out is lies.
Too many lies, I hate it.
I lie on impulse, I had to lie my intire life to survive living with my mother
And I hate it
Every breath is agony
I want to die
Maybe I should.
All I know is, I most likely won't be back in a while
For I am drowning in my tears hoping for night.
The days pass on without a sound
And not a single..movement
I have waited silently and still
Hoping for a friend...
Yet here I am in this school desk
Writing messages on the wood
Hoping for an answer...
And nobody wrote back...
I am lost without a soul to be lost with me...
Loneliness takes control and then I loose what I call home
As soon as the bell rings
So here I am day after day
Messages fadding away...
Sometimes I feel like the last person alive after the apocalypse
And if I say hi
All I get is a cold stare
Oh why does nobody care
So I sit in a school desk
Writing little messages on the wood
Hoping for an answer...
And nobody ever wrote back...
{Lyrics to a song I'm writing}