heartz444cami
Hi author!! I’m really loving Blessings of the Seven so far, and I love where the story is going! I did have a couple little things I wanted to mention, but of course you don’t have to take any of it. It’s just my personal preference as a reader.
One thing I noticed is the length of some of the paragraphs. A lot of them are only a few words long, like this:
“You’re from the Kingdom of Invidia.”
“Your magic isn’t just controlling earth.”
“It’s restoring life through nature.”
“That’s one of our kingdom’s oldest forms of magic.”
Seraphina immediately bounced closer.
“What about me?”
She pointed to herself.
“Am I from Invidia too?”
Ivlyn smiled apologetically.
“I don’t think so.”
Seraphina’s shoulders instantly slumped.
When it’s formatted like that, it kind of throws me off a little because it feels very broken up. I think it would flow a little smoother if some of those actions and dialogue were grouped together into fuller paragraphs, like:
“You’re from the Kingdom of Invidia,” Ivlyn explained. “Your magic isn’t just controlling earth. It’s restoring life through nature. That’s one of our kingdom’s oldest forms of magic.”
Seraphina immediately bounced closer and pointed to herself. “What about me? Am I from Invidia too?”
Ivlyn smiled apologetically. “I don’t think so.” Seraphina’s shoulders instantly slumped.
girlfromthenowhere
Thank you so much for the feedback when I was reading it my self I was kinda thrown off with all the cut of in the dialogue so yes going forward I will change it. I didn’t follow the bot I was just pretending but thank you for the warning. The chapters are short because I have a lot of different povs so they are its own chapter but I’m happy with making it fullers for my readers enjoyment.
heartz444cami
Another thing is that the bots in comments will try to get you to follow them on Instagram acting like real people trying to show ideas that they have. It is not real I fell for it myself and I noticed you responded to them on one of your chapters. I recommend looking on this authors page named FannyJosefina, she has a book named our demon girlfriend and one of the important announcements she has on the book explain the bots and how to scout them out, I suggest you look at that as it may benefit you in the future!!!
heartz444cami
I personally enjoy reading when paragraphs are a little fuller because it makes the story feel more immersive and complete.
The only other thing is that I wish the chapters were justttt a little bit longer. I feel like as soon as I really get into the chapter, it’s already over. But you’re also posting multiple chapters a day, so I really can’t complain too much because that’s honestly amazing.
Again, none of this is something you have to change at all. I just wanted to share my thoughts because I genuinely love your story and want to see it keep growing. I’m really enjoying it, and I hope you continue writing because you’re doing such a great job! ❤️