gr33n_b3ans

It's like 80 degrees in my room rn but I can't turn in down because my grandma is sleeping in the room with the control thingy and opening the window doesn't help since it's also like 80 degrees out. Help me. I'm dying.

No. Simply no. So. My friend has a brother. And her brother also has a friend. I often go to her house, so does her brother's friend let's call my friend's brother John. And Johns friend Ethan. If you don't know I'm in the dsmp fandom. If you don't know, Techno has cancer. So John was making fun of the dream smoke and calling Tommy and idiot and stuff like that. Now I was annoyed but not too mad yet because John was being stupidm my friend said "Techno has cancer btw" THIS IDIOT SAID "good. That's means he'll die" AT THIS POINT I WAS AVOUT TO BEAT THIS MOTHER FUCKER UP. IDC IF IT WAS A JOKE AND I DONT CARE IF YOU DISLIKE TECHNO. YOU DO NOT WISH AN UNCURABLE FATAL ILLNESS ON SOMEONE.  Anyways. Ethan. Is the type of kid who's so fucking stupid that itd entertaining to argue with him, but if pisses u off at the same time. I'm Chinese if y'all didn't know. So my friend is causacsion/white/whatever u call it.so John is too.Ethan really went, "ew ur asain" Ethan is Indian. As you should know India is in Asia. Therefore he is also asain. So I printed this out to him, and he said "I'm friends dad with a white person so I'm not asain" I'VE EVER MET SOMEONE WOTH SO MICH STUPIDITY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And than he called my mom a communist because I'm Chinese and she's Chinese and at that point I picked up a stick and chased after him :). If I wouldn't get in trouble for beating two kids up, I would absolutely beat those two up. 

Just went to the dermatologist to see what was up about my rash/not actually a rash. Some tiny little bugs have been crawling over my body, their invisible to the naked eye, and swarm in 100s. According to the doctor it's the second case he's ever seen that's this bad in his entire life. He's 70. Honestly it's just GREAT knowing that 100s of bugs have been crawling over my entire body and I wouldn't be able to tell. Especially considering I hate all incects except the harmless ones like fireflies worms and stuff.

I have posion ivy and it sucks. During the day it's okayish, at night it's fucking hell. It's all over my body and I can't sleep. If I do I wake up at 5 in the morning and lie in bed. And although it doesn't physically hurt, it hurts. Somehow it managed to spread all over my body so that's fun, and uh yesterday was actually a very bad bad day because it wasone of those days where I felt nothing but absolute despair and the feeling the world as gonna blow up right then.

Just got back from the doctors. I have scoliosis. You know that post I made about my friend getting surgery, that's what she had to get surgery for. But luckily mine is minor, so most like I won't have to get surgery. But it's very possible for it to go from barely any to surgery needed level.

Im having ab anxiety attack write now and I need to get it out. I have to get my blood drawn soon since I haven't done it in a while and I have a fear of needles. Not the sheer terror fear, like a plane crashing. A panicky, anxious, uncontrollable nervousness type of fear. I can't even look at a picture of a needle without getting panicky and cringing away from the photo. And it's only shot needles, not all needles, just shots. So I'm telling my mom I don't want to get my blood drawn and shes like, "it's fine it doesn't hurt" yeah, to you. Not to me. And than she was like if anything think of *insert friends name*. She had to get surgery. And this is going to sound insensitive but I don't care. I just don't care. She is brave and whatnot, but I don't care. She's brave, im a coward. She is a whole different person. Soi started crying from the panic, and she's like clam down it'll be fine jusy relax when they do it. That's like telling me to relax as a poisonous spider crawls up my leg. Ok I'm done. I just find it easier when a rant, whether it's to starmgers on the internet or to myself. If you have any tips on how to stay calm please tell me because I'm scared out of my mind right now.

I'm reading the song of Achilles which is a VERY good book and if you haven't read it go read it. It's a lgbtq book and I got it online for free on an online library thing. My mom always asks me to show her what I'm reading to make sure "it's appropriate" but not only is it very slightly inappropriate, idk if she supports the queer community. So I'm hoping she doesn't ask me to show her, bcuz if she does, and she searches up the book, the summary would probably read "two gay Greek dudes fall in love.what will happen next?"

:D today (technically yesterday) was an emotional rollercoaster. My friend got back surgery for her scoliosis. Now you see back surgery as you would assume is a lot more risky than something like arm surgery or something. Being able to sit up in a day is already an accomplishment. So you see this is like, my only friend. And I've been friends with her for a long time. So I woke up this morning to see a text from her that was like a heartfelt letter. I wrote one back. So now not only was I stressed, scared, anxious, and panicking, I was also very emotional. Luckily no one was home today so my family didn't see me randomly stop in the kitchen and start crying out of nowhere while getting a snack, while walking to the bathroom, while walking across my room, while pacing arounf, and while I'm on my phone in bed at 3 pm. But then I got a text from her mom saying she was good and I'm recovery so that's nice. I woke up this morning feeling like shit, and ended it laughing my ass off because the internet is an interesting place.

Pls so u ppl know Ranboo right? The mcyt person? His Youtooz came out yesterday, so I asked my mom for his plushie for my birthday. And it's 35 USD so it's kind of overpriced. And my mom was like, "did you check Walmart?" I DIED. I laughed so hard tears started coming out of my eyes I just - Im sorry, "did you check Walmart?" Long story short Im not allowed to get it. 

So like 5 minutes ago, I dropped something on the floor so I went to pick it up, and I saw a spider next to it. And I have arachnaphobia. It wasn't even a big spider it was one of those little tiny ones you had to crouch down to see. But when I tell you I launched myself 4 feet backwards and 2 and a half feet up onto my bed (my bed is kinda tall) sitting perfectly not even slipping, I mean it.
          
          Another time I was in the kitchen and a saw a spider near the sink, and I was putting my plate in it, and I backed up ten feet and waited 5 minutes before scrambling to and from the sink. That was fun. 
          
          There one more time where I was on a hammock with my friend because it was hot out and hammock = trees = shade. I saw a spider next to my head and I never jumped off a hammock so smoothly and quickly before.
          
          Ok I'm done. I just got bored after launching myself into the air and decided to write about spiders. 
          
          Ok I said I'm done but I'm not. My friend is quite fond of spiders so whenever she sees a daddy long leg she picks it up and shoves it in my face. I've gotten used to it now. But if I see a daddy long leg anywhere but my friends hand I will freak out. 
          
          Ok now I'm done bye.