ILuvTheRookie
I need more of "After bedtime" PLEASEE
Pinkidydrinkidytoes
pleaseeee update usssss
Pinkidydrinkidytoes
When are u posting a new storyyyyy
therookie267
Why no update
SlimChanced_12
Yo please hear me out, this idea i think will be good
An idea for a book is another paintball scene, like in season 1 except this is in season 8, lucy and tim still aren't together, but they don't get together either, you know like i don't want them to just get back together i want this scene to show him/Tim really...like earning his way back, in those small doses he had promised
SlimChanced_12
Yo Grace try reading Unspoken scars by Nova120211
Nova120211
I’m obsessed with your stories—they’re amazing!
SlimChanced_12
Yo can you please give me feedback if you're busy that's totally acceptable.
Lucas sighs, he balances the pencil between his index finger and thumb of his left hand, and begins to tap it erratically on the cold concrete floor the pencil hitting from one side to the other, until he started to hear a beat, intrigued by it, he introduced a quiet slap bouncing of the floor lingering for a few seconds at a time. After a few minutes of nodding his head, lost in reverie with the beat the only thing he found conscious, he started to whisper, barely audible but distinct, "( Rap goes here)" his mind wandered off through the dark empty streets, crowded with pain and regret, but gratitude and hope, from the tattered streetlight still glimmered despite how many times it had been broken, the light flickered but never completely switched off. " (rap goes here)" Words just started to spill unconsciously matching the beat, memories poured out flooding his mind like an ocean, with each word he spoke, gentle waves quickly followed but violent waves that conquered them quickly roaring loudly as it crashed against the rocks barrier he had set up sitting among the shore. He stops abruptly, he tries to continue but the words have stopped flowing he struggles to reach for words to spin into his rap, frustrated he kicks the wall. The loud thump reverberates from wall to wall, he winces and listens his heartbeat seems to get louder as he sits motionless on the cold floor. After a few minutes he cautiously stretches his legs and wipes his sweaty palms on his shorts, he sighs and breathes in, realizing he had been holding his breath. He curls up on the floor pulling the hoodie over his legs, although shivering, he starts to doze off.
SlimChanced_12
@grace558ed Yo wow thanks I'll definitely do that, wow I didn't expect anything to be honest, the rap I'm still working on, rappings almost like writing, you write what you feel except you get the added bonus of having a flow and music with it, but it's not easy, I think that is a great idea with it tensing up really works well, because he's using rap as....an outlet for him you know like almost like therapy, his own way to...understand his feelings and thoughts, and express all his suppressed anger. Anyway thank you, keep on writing, you are amazing and great and talented and beautiful and strong and lots of stuff.... But you are really talented, and I talk too much don't I? I'm 13 and I'm still new to writing I only found Wattpad like 5 months ago, and I think I have read every Chenford book possible..... Also I have a YT account subscribers are VERY appreciated my channel is SlimChanced_12 It's got Chenford, the Rookie stuff, Minecraft and yada yada, but feel free to check it out, alright imma shut up Peace out- Slim HERE ARE SOME GOOD SONGS: Me vs You, good song Sing for the moment Eternity, and You'll be alright and Everything are good songs
grace558ed
@SlimChanced_12 Okay I'm gonna give u a propper writing criqiue, I actually love that tho. Your scene really captures Lucas’s mood and makes the reader feel his frustration and creativity. I love how you use sound—the pencil tapping and the beat—to show his emotions. The imagery of the dark streets and flickering streetlight is strong and gives a lot of atmosphere. To make it even better, you could focus on keeping the rhythm in the writing, let a few words of the rap spill naturally, and tighten some sentences so each moment hits harder.
laurenjb29
i love your work it would be such a good idea if when tim so still with ashley and lucy with chris thers all at a game nught and angles hooked tim’s phone up to a tv or something as a prank and they saw tim and lucy’s rlly flirty texts abt the kiss and what they were gonna do before they found chris in the apratment
Kuteshark
Could you do a story where Tim and Lucy are kinda awkward and they play the app truth or dare kinda like how they did in the training camp one? I love your stories so much you're such a great writer.
SlimChanced_12
@grace558ed also can't wait for those new chapters I've been waiting for 3 house now no joke