Ƭ

how come every day lasts ten years but every week lasts 3 seconds but every month lasts either two days or an eternity and then it's a new year and now it's february

what if death is not the end, but rather a transition into a different plane of existence, and all of our loved ones who have passed away are still with us in some form?

may we eat the knowledge
          of suffering, may we eat the bitter
          waste of the false food we have fed
          others. may we eat it in pain, and in time.

actually i love growing older and learning how i work as a person like realizing what kinds of fabrics feel best on my skin or what brand of yogurt i like best or how I want to be touched. watching myself change, enjoying brussel sprouts when I used to hate them as a child, understanding why I got angry in that one conversation 10 years ago… there are so many mysteries inside me that i have yet to unravel and there will always be more and sometimes i think maybe its all worth it,,,,, 

I loved him very much - more than I could trust myself to say - more than words had power to express,,, 

having a quiet life is so.. underrated. i don’t mean it in the sense that people who’re open and loud and busy aren’t important, but when our culture has significantly put so much emphasis on the definition of success as fame, extraordinary accomplishments, greatness and importance and excessive wealth, i think there is so much power to be found in our own anonymity. in the silence of life. in not being constantly perceived, analyzed and performing for the world. in being able to take a walk, smile at strangers and just notice the world without all that noise. taking the biggest pleasure out of the smallest joys, like a cup of coffee or blowing out birthday candles. knowing that our lives don’t have to be a grand spectacle for others in order to have worth and cause a good impact.

'but I crumble completely when you cry,
          it seems once again youve had to greet me with goodbye,
          Im always just about to gospoil a suprise,
          take my hands off of your eyes too soon' 

uzat bana elini, benimle ol, 
          yalın, bir şey arama sözlerimde çıplak bir sızıntısından başka. 
          benden neden bir işçiden fazlasını bekliyorsun? 
          biliyorsun yumruklarımla dövdüğüm toprağa gömülü aletlerimi ve 
          konuştuğumdan başka türlü konuşmak istemediğimi.
          
          

Yaşamaya çıktım: Büyüdüm ve kendinden emin yürüyeni oldum acımasız sefil arka sokakların, şarkılar söyleyerek deliliğin sınırında. 
          
          Duvarlar yüzlerle doluydu, ışıktan kaçan gözlerle, bir cinayetin aydınlattığı yılankavi sular, gururlu bir yalnızlığın mirasları, kırık kalplerle dolu çukurlar. 
          
          Onlarlarla beraber gittim: Yalnızca onların korolarında, doğduğu yerdeki yalnızlıkları tanıdı sesim.
          
          —•

fucked my way up to the top✨