🌱 - ʰ ᵘ ᵐ - 🌱

hat squad

re-did my account aesthetic, and might come back to this app more often???? was pastelfigments!

i won't be as active as i usually am anymore. i have a lot of stuff going on, and school also started recently. sorry to anyone i have roleplays with, i will still try to respond when i can! xx

the world is hazy
          i feel like it's all a dream
          but then i feel something real
          and it's like i woke up
          but i didn't want to
          initially it makes me happy
          but then it hurts
          it always hurts
          and i wish i could just go back to being asleep
          it's hard to tell what was yesterday and what's now
          but i can usually laugh it off
          it's annoying sometimes
          when i forget
          but i manage to remember and move on
          it hurts too much to be real
          whether it's my heart that hurts
          not used to these emotions
          or my mind that hurts
          overflowing with them
          it's like a waterfall
          turning me into stone as i stare off into space
          blue water leaking out wherever it can
          but it's imaginary
          nobody else can see it
          nobody else sees what's real
          'it's just a feeling.'
          are feelings not real?
          'it'll pass.'
          what do i do when it comes back?
          'try this.'
          what if it doesn't work?
          am i stuck then?
          is there no solution to my problem?
          i don't want to be real
          'are you okay?'
          no, i'm not.
          'do you want to talk about it?'
          no, i don't.
          'okay. but i'm here. i won't leave.'
          i don't want you to.
          i can see your waterfalls.
          can you see mine?
          i don't want them to show.
          you make me happy.
          i don't want you to go.
          please be real.
          please.
          i don't care how bad it hurts.
          i want you to be real.
          i don't want to feel fake anymore.
          i'm tired of going back to sleep.
          i want to wake up.
          i don't want it to be hazy.
          i want to see colors.
          i want to see you.
          everything's so blurry.
          all the lines mix together.
          but yours don't.
          i can see your waterfalls.
          they're overflowing.
          but you're not blurry.
          why are you not blurry?
          why am i blurry?
          please
          i want to be real
          it'll hurt
          but i want to be real for you

anyone wanna roleplay?????

HEY IM SICK AND I HAVE A PLAY TO PUT ON THIS WEEKEND SO Like im gonna disappear just thought you’d like to know.

i feel so naive about the world like what the heck

shameless self promo but hey!!! ive got a new roleplay up, and i’d appreciate if you guys could check it out! it’s spooky themed uwu
          
          + i worked really hard on it.
          https://my.w.tt/cQWDmgWQlY

when did i pass 60 followers??? :00000 omg thank you so much i love all of y’all 

hey i love you all and i hope that when you look at yourselves you see someone who’s loved because you are.
          
          thanks for coming to my ted talk.