guppyxee

I love you Moonbin. 
          you always smiled on camera and never showed your hardships. why didn’t you reach out and say you were suffering? being always on camera must be a difficult thing to do… now i’m so scared for your sister because she only relied on you and you were finally able to become closer with her…
          thank you for always working hard to make your fans smile… you never failed to give your best to create content with your dance practices and your little mukbang videos. you were always so shy and the fans loved you for your shyness and gummy smile. 
          i still can’t believe you’re gone though.. like my mind wants to deny it completely, and that you will come out again with a smile saying that you were just needing a rest. like i can’t even imagine what the family and friends are going through as they all were continuous contact with you… i really hope now you’re resting fully and feel less pressure from always being on the spotlight. you can finally bask in your actual self without needing to saying you’re okay with a smile the entire time. i really am grateful to have been a fan of you especially because i always wanted to make other people stan you because you are so talented and kind hearted. 
          i really am still in shock because i woke up with such shocking news. thank you for your hard work and everything that you did when you were on stage and off stage. you’re the brightest star in the sky and i will extremely miss you. i am in tears still since it is just a shock and i can’t formulate words but…. you have brought everyone together and remember you which i think is a great accomplishment. you managed to touch everyone’s life one way or another. 
          although i refuse to believe that you’re now gone, i have to now accept that the stars are going to accept you..and that we can only view your past videos and smiles. i hope you are not sick anymore and you can be happier and less stressed out.

oh geez it’s been a long time since i logged on
          almost a new year soon
          
          update
          i will try to finish the books i have and also maybe release two more. and that shall be it for this account. i don’t have the rush of excitement to write as it’s my internship and also college writing made me dislike writing because of essays, reports, and final exams. but i have good memories on this app and i will definitely not forget it.  

Asians have a voice. 
          Asians have been tortured with racist attacks for years, and the media brushes it off so easily as if it's nothing. 
          Asians don't deserve this treatment, because they worked so hard to not only immigrate here but create a new life here to chase after the American dream. The kids who were born from immigrants are American citizens, and they're American. Their bloods are Asian, but their heart and mind are American. 
          
          Asians deserve respect. Asians deserve justice. Asians deserve peace. Stop the hate towards Asians.

who was here for when my first book was published omg

hello sorry for the unexpected hiatus. i will be returning after new years. i will continue to write on the side before posting them. see you guys soon.

leave jungwoo alone. 
          although hendery has been gaining a lot of attention for his actions to not apologize, i do believe that he needs to 100% accept for what he did and apologize. if he is in a situation where SM does not want him to verbally say it, it would be best if he could also write a written apology. 
          
          but for jungwoo.
          leave that grown adult alone. it's bad for the health, yes...everyone knows that. he knows that. but in korea, the biggest issue on why people smoke is because of the immense stress they get from work and other points of life. it's something that you don't need to support him for but you need to leave him alone. he's a grown boy and he is allowed to do whatever he wants as it is legal for him to do so. if it was something that was super scandalous and something that goes against the right of a person, then yes, you can go after him. but that is not the case. he is a human with a flaw of smoking due to stress, then it's best that he overcomes that on his own without the whole world watching him.

i'm sorry...but i don't really like aespa's concept....i feel like i'm going to get hate..but like, i like being honest with things. k/da is the og and i feel like it's too early to bring in a similar concept, especially when sm is trying to be different. i know sm is still pretty fked up with not being fair with the members of nct. 
          
          but, aespa is getting some heat because of many things: similar ai avatar concept that is difficult to understand for a lot of people (k/da is easier to understand since the avatars are the ones in charge), their dance moves (yes, i know dance moves can be used over and over again but that leg thing is way too similar to wannabe and i wish they would have used a different dance for the chorus and moved that leg dance to a different part of the dance), and the similar art images used to create the mv's and shooting. 
          
          i tbh wished that aespa debuted with a simple concept that they can develop- perhaps they could have debuted with pre-ai avatars and showed the process of them meeting them personally after a few  singles since it would help with the story line. 
          i honestly don't see the future of this because it was made to be just confusing...and the representation for the girls are very weak because they could have definitely  used original work without trying to take on similar copies from other artworks. the girls deserved better from the start and honestly, it's quite a shame.

congrats to BTS literally sweeping all the awards..i really wish they can win that grammy...like this will be such a huge accomplishment. i really do wish that they are able to dominate world charts and prove that they really can make it. 
          
          also, i feel like mama was being unfair with the awards this year. like...twice deserved at least that best female dance. dont hate me because i do like blackpink. i think that even though itzy is a strong dance group, twice had two songs that were not only aesthetically beautiful but difficult to dance to. wannabe and not shy were definitely top notch but i dont think it will beat m&m and icantstopme because it involved more elegance and focus on how they can make the dance flow. 
          hylt isnt as hardcore as wannabe but it isnt as elegant as twice's songs because i personally think lovesick girls was worth the shot...
          
          and although i'm going to get a lot of backlash, i think there would have been more stronger winners for that solo dance....like yes, taemin is an amazing performer and he releases bops. but hwasa and jessi have killed the charts with staying on top 10 for a long time...i think it would have been nice if either jessi or hwasa received it...like my heart calls for kang daniel but my soul knows that the other two really deserved it this year with them popping off with such great and memorable songs that people can remember them by. sunmi also was a great candidate but it can't beat NNNN and maria..... 
          
          other than that, i can't really complain for the groups but wished that the awards were a little bit more spread out this year. i really did enjoy all the stages though, i loved that dynamite stage and i cried when suga arrived in a hologram for life goes on. but nct slaying their resonance stage - yes, i think it was a great idea for them to release that version because it shows all their songs in a short version and captures the best parts.

happy thanksgiving everyone :)

alright, jeno got a good part but i feel like they could have given one more part of mark's rap to jeno since they're both super talented rappers. yangyang seemed to be in the sub vocal range for this part so i dont think it would be so bad to let him keep his lines. sungchan did great, he really is killing it with the rap...very different vibes from mark and jeno. 
          ten is such a multi-talented king. too good. haechan is just amazing, i don't even have to speak since he really deserves being the one to lead the vocals. 
          
          alright. winwin!!! let's mention this. 
          he did get some more lines than before, let's be honest here. i think sm is really being unfair but they did allow some more lines i guess....i'm still upset that he barely got anything compared to jeno so i shouldn't complain but.... winwin has so much to serve for us, and sm is just keeping it all in.....
          
          90's love is really my favorite song right now....it does deserve more recognition...i honestly like it better than make a wish (well honestly maybe because i have more favorite members in 90's love LOL but still....it's so catchy!!!)