ֆ ʟ ɛ ɛ ք ʏ

i also never write anymore lmao

hey guys, welcome back:)
          a little life update since my bf reminded me of this account! it might get a little triggering since these two years have been a trip...
          for starters, i'm now 16 years old! im in grade 11 and barely passing some of my classes. i really am finding myself enjoying school because now i actually have the option of picking my classes and now im taking more arts classes and still enjoying my classes like biology and functions and applications (mathematics).
          my life feels like its flying by and im barely having any time to enjoy it. most of the people i know have their drivers license or at least their G1 and i havent even studied because of my anxiety and depression. 
          i now can say that ive sent to the emergency room for mental health purposes.... it was the worse week of my life. thankfully, it wasnt any physical damage too serious but it was enough to raise concern when my whole arm was bleeding all around. 
          the cops was called on me from the school because of the one person who broke my trust repeatedly and yet, i was so attached i gave them another chance. they called me a bad friend and a negative person and immediately started shaming me for hurting myself and called the cops on me. only to then joke with their friends saying i did it for attention.
          i have people who hate me now and other people who fear me. my life has been turned around and it just proves how much high school can change someone. 
          i started smoking weed and got addicted to nicotine. i've tried quitting and i've been so on and off that i've almost given up. the same people who preach my sober journey are the same who enable me to continue. everyday i have to lie to my sober app is another i slowly lose my will to even be sober. 
          like i mentioned i have a boyfriend now! that probably the best thing out of these years. i was in a toxic 3 year relationship and when i left suddenly everything in my got better. right now, i believe im on a journey to something fantastic. <3

b r u h i was thinking about the dsmp for one second and my spotify recommendation started playing 'boom boom' by 2WEI COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

am i working on a short story at the moment? maybe! am i going to let it be a secret until i completely finish it? maybe! [; 
          
          (i might give hints of the progress if people actually care)

here's an update on my system of friends in my head i'm sure no one asked for and no one will read! [: just to let you know how we are doing!
          
          ghostbur is gone, he's dead (r.i.p...again) and has now been 'replaced with the psychotic terrorist named wilbur soot. 
          
          i spent forever sewing a tommyinnit cosplay shirt and tommy really seemed to it! especially the l'manberg flag on it [:
          
          ethan had gone doormat for a bit, i dunno why he did but he's back now and he seems pretty happy so woop woop!
          
          aubrey, who is a 'blind' little altar, has finally started to use her eyes more after like four years of trauma to keep them closed so that's good i guess! ethan, who can't speak because of a car accident, has started to be more open to taking advantage of talking while fronting. yayyy 
          
          we have three new-ish altars. 
          
          one is chris, he's the oldest and he is like my new father. he cleans my room all the time which is a good thing because i would never myself. i joke around and call him philza because he's so quick to adopt all my friends and the system and he is my father when my real father can't be [:
          
          the other one is candi. i don't know to much about her since she's really new but i know she is trans-female and that's poggers. she told me she has religious trauma and that's not poggers. she's really pretty too but she is american ;~;
          
          the other new-ish one is christie. she's 14 but she's special because she was born in 1987 (yes that's possible and yes it's really cool). she is kind of new to a lot of things...she once ate slime and it was quite funi but worrying. she is super childish because she lost most of her childhood, idk what happened but i ain't gonna pressure her to speak about it. 
          
          that's about everything thats special...all the others including myself have just been chilling doing our own things...yeah! [: <3

guys...guys please...i'm so tired...i stayed up all night sewing a short for my tommy altar and for a tommyinnit cosplay...i stayed up until 8 am sewing...i'm so tired

i feel like the dream team should be titled the sleepy bois because they all kind of have something to do with sleeping in their name- 
          dream - this one is obvious 
          sapnap - he literally has 'nap' in his name i can't make it any clearer 
          georgenotfound - manz not found because he's sleeping! this isn't even a cleaver thing with his name...it's just true...
          
          PLUS THE NAME DREAM TEAM SU--

wait no i'm fine with it because my mom said summer of me about to turn 16 that i can get a matching bee tattoo with her so i'm fine with ageing hahaha

IM SORRY MY BRAIN JUST STARTED WORKING AND I JUST REALIZED THAT PEOPLE I KNOW ARE TURNING 15 MEANING THAT IM ALSO GOING TO BE 15...BECAUSE AFTER 14 IS 15 AAAAA I DONT WANT TO BE THAT OLD WHAT THE HECC

just came up with this since im honking sick in the head- 
          anyway...au where dream is ranboos father who severely emotionally abused ranboo and traumatized him. ranboo often has flashbacks of his old life with his dad and sometimes has hallucinations of dream being in the room with him (kind of like that scene of when dream was in ranboos panik room, y'know) dream knows what he did to his son as well but he doesnt care about him...hes sadistic like that [,: