hanbanana46

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

hanbanana46

hour and 3 mins late but who cares
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hanbanana46

genuinely changing to online school has been one of the most positive things to happen in my life recently even though it came from a bad place i know im not on the up but it feels like im not at rock bottom anymore

hanbanana46

even though ive lost most of my friends i still have my dog (and the family dog) and hes the only true friend i have now a days hes my lil guy
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hanbanana46

when you look back and realise how fuckin mentally ill you were the embarrassment is crazy but also give that girly a hug they were going through it  internalised homophobia is a bitch same with the symptoms of personality disorders

hanbanana46

also idrc who sees this go ahead read it i only care about someeeee people for one bit (internalised homophobia)
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hanbanana46

this message may be offensive 
one more thing to add is i was really fucking lonely and i know for a fact that fuelled most of it i get really jealous really easily which is a whole other thing so anytime i would see something good happen to another person it would be like remembered and stored away and i know i had lots of amazing friends but my brain kept trying to push them away even if i knew they were my friends
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hanbanana46

my life wasnt that hard i couldve had it worse and sure i couldve had it better but that still doesnt ever give me the excuse to be as much of an absolute dickhead that i was and even if you didnt see me as such i did and i could go back and tell you a time i was a dickhead and a terrible friend anyway rant pretty much over in summary i was a dickhead do i think ive changed no do i think ive grown however yes
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