ok so like you know when you stop keeping up with a show or like fandom and a new season comes out but you don't watch it (because you are busy or just don't feel like it), but you still love the show and the fandom and what, but in that new season something so gut wrenching horrible happened that got spoiled from like an oddly beautiful edit on tiktok and now you physically can't watch the new season because you can't actually watch or accept what happened, but also when you want to watch or read fandom content it has to be made pre-said bad thing happening (or else it's like included and makes you physically ill) so now you're just stuck reading the shitty fanfics from like 2020 because you've already read all the good ones but can't accept that the writers made dark decisions? yeah that.