dylan

I really really want to write so many stories about so many different things... I'm a writer and an okay one at that but yet I can't seem to keep inspiration after one chapter. I love writing and I love when a piece turns out just how I want it to. I just can't seem to know what I want to write, I want a new book and I want to delete all of the ones I have currently on my page. I want to start fresh and actually finish a book. I've always let you guys down; I've deleted so many books that weren't near done and I've quit writing so many books that people enjoyed. I have come so far as a writer. 3 years ago I believe, I started this wattpad page and my writing was HORRIBLE. I was young and hadn't yet actually experienced love or heartbreak but I wrote about all of it anyways. But now, I have experienced too much depression and heartbreak and overall haven't been the healthiest mentally. I'm not losing control of anything, (yet.) but I have definitely been a lot angrier and insecure than I have been in the past. I have a very loving girlfriend who is always there by my side for me and I didn't think it was possible to be in love the way it's written in books. I didn't think I could hear a song and have my mind revert back to her and that one thought of her alone be able to make my face light up. She makes me the happiest I've ever been but when she's not there because she can't be or I'm just feeling so lonely, I hate myself more than before. I've been hating my body and shaming it because it isn't what I want, I've been telling myself that I'm fucking ugly and I believe it 110%. Idk what this is. I've never been personal on here, none of my followers have ever heard much about me. I'm not very active on here as it is. But hey. It's Dylan here, peeping in. Say hey if you see this, I doubt anyone really will but do it