I DONT KNOW WHO I WANT TO BE BECAUSE THERE ARE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF MYSELF AND IM TRYING TO PICK ONE AND FOCUS ON THAT CHARACTER BUT... WHICH SIDE OF MYSELF DO I WANT TO BECME??? LIKE AS AN INFANT YOU ARE A BLANK CANVAS OF POTENTIAL AND AS YOU AGE YOU GAIN PAINT STROKES AND SOME OF THEM ARE MESSY AND SAD BUT SOME MAKE UP SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL AND I DONT KNOW WHICH PAIN STROKE TO BE???? DREAMY AND SAD LIKE VAN GOGH?? OR BOLD LIKE PICASSO?? I FEEL LIKE A POLLACK PAINTING, ALL MESSY SCATTERED SPONTANEOUS DRIPS OF PAINT THROWN AT ME AND NO ONE UNDERSTANDS IT, I FEEL LIKE ABSTRACT ART WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN PAINTED BY A REALIST.