@haru_161 I mean, it's alright. Your format is a bit different to other writers, as you center your text, but..for small stuff, Grammar is good, and you have teensy spelling mistakes.
And I guess...your descriptions are a bit shallow? But it's straight to the point.
Take this comment with a grain of salt. It's better to ask a writing community, they might be able to get something. I create imaginary stories on what-ifs and build-ups and stuff, so I don't have anything original like you.
But if you're frustrated, why not focus on other stuff instead of writing? Don't lean too heavily on people reading your work, just think of sharing them. That's my way anyway. Being scared of the public's opinion, I am.
No rudeness detected, only self-deprecation. Anyways, have a good time!