please dont delete this, please. ik ive done this before, and i know you dont like it but i just cant NOT respond to this.
idk how to start this. i understand. i understand completely why you had to go. im not mad, im not typing this just to get you back; i understand. i realize how awful ive been, i got carried away, like.. before. being honest, ive cherished our friendship, or you, more than my own life because i was the happiest ive ever been. words cannot describe how much you meant to me. it may not have reflected in my actions, but i guess ive sort of wanted to connect with you on that deeper level. weird way of doing that, but i just wanted to help you and i didn't know exactly how. i was panicked. i know i wasn't the most helpful, or the best person to be around, but just know being with you made me inspired to improve, it inspired a lot actually, and frankly.. it made me feel alive again. not saying that to be persuasive, but im saying that from the heart. you've made life bearable for me and i thank you for that. but thats also my own cardinal sin, so to speak.
im terribly sorry for everything, for the advice, for the vents and spiraling, for all the times ive drained you even when i didn't mean to. for all the times ive stressed you out. despite this, all i wanted to do was to make you happy just like how i was. nothing more.
but also i want to say this; i may have my own faults, but im still upset. you should've talked to me instead of pushing your feelings down. you know i dont like when you do that. we could've talked. i would've tried to help things if you'd just ask. but i understand why you didnt.
i could only say so much but i cant due to the text limit so ill say this;
ill miss you. alot.
forever, for the time we are apart, i never forgot you. and ill always see you as the bestest friend ive ever made.
i love you, and i wish you the best. and in a different life, maybe we can meet again.
and im sorry.
goodbye, stay safe. <3
