hbeiagbr
Hi guys,
How have you been?
I have messed up my sleep cycle again. Days have been very stressful. I get a little crazy during the night lol trying to fall asleep.
My eyes are sinking innn. I don't want to look into the mirror. It's not so much that I have body image issues as it is I don't like my body spiraling. Like I know my face is so puffy and my eyes look so sunken because my thyroid is really struggling.
I'm getting sick of these hormonal imbalance issues. Makes me feel like I'm not in control of my own body. Like I want to somehow sit and talk to my body and plead it to function normally please. It gets really frustrating and hopeless sometimes. I have decided to go see an endocrinologist soon.
Today was the first day/night after weeks when I slept on time. 10:30 PM. But I woke up at 1:40 AM from some really bad nightmares. And everyone's asleep and I can't stop thinking about them. I just can't fall back asleep. It's been an hour. I don't know what to do.
hbeiagbr
Hello people,
Do you ever feel like talking to someone, anyone, basically all the time, while also not feeling lonely or alone? I've had less than 4 hours of sleep last night and it was my birthday and I went to meet my friends and traveled so much in the metro, I'm really ded tired and sleepy. But I just don't want to sleep. I want to keep talking? I don't understand why.
I was going to text a guy who says has a crush on me for years, and I've told him multiple times I'm with someone, but idk what's going on. I don't like him, but I also don't want to end the friendship. Anyway.
I feel extremely blessed, emotional, full of love and longing for my loved one's, the one's who are no more in my life too, and this extremely beautiful world, which seems unlivable most of the time.
Adulting is scary. Life is scary. Always has been. I'm proud of myself for living so far. I'm grateful to be born and alive. I love so much, and I want to love more. I think this need to talk to people is about my soul overflowing with so much love that I want to give, and connect with other souls. Lol, if it's cringey it is. Alright. Here's to another yeaaaarrrr. We can do this!
hbeiagbr
@kimberleysaid God I love your replies. Thank you for the wishes! ❤️ You totally got what I meant with the guy situation haha. He was a friend in school, and I just don't want to lose the friendship. He knows I'm with someone, still keeps trying uff. Yes, God COVID and the tooth removals hehe. Thank you ❤️ ❤️ I would have loved to read the long version of your msg :( Life is deep, yes. You are wonderful hehe.
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kimberleysaid
Not gonna lie adulthood has dealt with me both physical or whatever the word the describe it. I mean you should be proud, you survived COVID to begin with, and then went through getting a tooth removal lmao ( that still stuck with me lol) You've got to many things to come and even if you're bound to make mistakes I'm sure it'll all turn out great. Like three years ago some of us were in highschool now we're forced to take 9- 5 jobs and be adult, that's still scary to me NGL, there are days you'll cry your eyes out another day laugh, Jump scream of happiness, I hate when they say life isn't deep when it really is, but deep in emotions, the more you grow the more experiences we earn and even if some experiences are really frightening we walk pass it.
But I'm still scared of the future lmao.
PS: I had to shorten this due to Wattpad.
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kimberleysaid
@hbeiagbr Hey! Happy birthday ( tho it's a bit late. ) wish you the best. But for your first question I get what you mean, sometimes we just want people to speak to even if it's about menial senseless topics. The best part is when those you speak to share the same vibe as you, that's the best, now our days it's hard to find such people out there but the ones who have that, are the best. Wait a guy who has a crush texts you and you don't want to stop talking to him? I'll be honest I get it, some people are just so nice sometimes that you don't want to hurt them at least in my case, honestly and the worst part is those type of guys seem to always be ready to text back whenever you text them, you wouldn't want them as a lover but as a friend. I know texting with our * ahem* faithful love persecutors, tend to be said that we're leading them on, it's hard when they wouldn't just give up, and not gonna lie they're a good form of entertainment. I feel like the moment we left high school, a new chapter began because little by little we start going through such drastic changes, friendships, priorities, love personally and the more you grow the more you realize that the the things we didn't value in the past or during childhood count the most.
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hbeiagbr
I got lower braces today. It hurts, it hurts so freaking bad.
I have an extraction appointment on 25th. One of my two front teeth will be removed to make space for the rest to align. My cute tooth, that has done nothing wrong, that is perfectly healthy, will be removed to make space for the rest lol.
I sometimes miss my extracted teeth like I miss my friends lol.
hbeiagbr
@kimberleysaid hehehehe yes. I got the tooth removed last Saturday. The wound is healing. No they don't regrow. The purpose is to help align the crowded teeth with the newly created space from the extracted tooth. Hopefully the missing teeth won't be noticeable by the end of the treatment.
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kimberleysaid
@hbeiagbr A monthly ritual?! I thought it's a two days thing and off you go. I never realized how often you have to visit the doc after braces but it makes sense too. Are those teeth going to ever regrow? I don't know I'd feel bad removing my teeth I have worked hard to keep healthy so I understand why you're sad and let's not forget the discomfort and pain. NGL. I always run to Ai for health questions TT too, I tend to go overboard at times with my worries. Lmao ☺️but it's going to be a good picture for your kids in the future
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hbeiagbr
@kimberleysaid hehe it is sad and funny. Yeah atleast the first week when they're out on. Then after each tightening appointment for a few days. So it's like a monthly ritual, lol it's like a very regular painful period. No, I don't like that thought. Yes, in cases of overcrowding or fixing the overbite, perfectly healthy teeth are extracted. Usually the 2 sets of premolars. I had my upper 2 premolars extracted in November, now it was turn for the lower one's. But the orthodontist said we can let them live and instead take iut a frontal middle tooth. Honestly I talked to chatgpt for 2 hours straight yesterday trying to make sense of the treatment plan and questioning everything. But I feel better now. Just that I'll be looking like a toothless infant on my birthday lol.
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hbeiagbr
Hi guys
hbeiagbr
@kimberleysaid I'm so excited for your book launch!!! This sounds great! Sorry for such a late reply. I think I didn't receive the notifications or missed them :( I've been occupied with work and things at home. But now I have holidays for a week. Plan on reading and writing and doing all the other 100 different hobbies I've been wishing to do hehe.
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kimberleysaid
@hbeiagbr Luckily the weather has gone down here and it even rain yesterday night so the air temperature is better. Really? I don't remember speaking to you in your old account, but then a lot of people told me I used to speak to them in their old accounts here. Ah, yes. Wattpad was just a means to see if people would actually enjoy my book, it was like a means to earn feedback and develop my writing which it quite did but when my book got to the hundreds of thousands of reads I removed it and I brought it down too. I rewrote it offline and send it to editors. The book won't be done until next year but it's been past the formating pace. I'm going excited to see it being turned into a paperwork. What about you?
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hbeiagbr
@kimberleysaid No worries! So glad to see your reply ♥️ Ah yes, the summer was pretty hot here too in May. But then we've had an early monsoon so it's been raining every other day which has made the temperatures go down but it's very humid now. Still better than the heat waves I feel. I saw your posts about your books being published. Many many congratulations for that!!!!! I'm so happy to hear that. You know, you were among the first people I talked to here on Wattpad and had done r4r with with my old account. It feels so good knowing the books will now be published!
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hbeiagbr
The new physiotherapy place had angelssss.
I'm so hopeful now. Feeling better.
First session was a good one. We did passive excercises among other things. Little bit of pain but good overall.
I'll be going everyday at 9 AM, lol, will have to start waking up early.
hbeiagbr
So I went for my first physiotherapy appointment on Saturday. After the examination I got to know there's "multi-structural damage". Ligaments, tendons, muscles all 3 are affected. Even after 3 weeks everything hurts and I'm nowhere close to being healed. Which makes me deeplyyy sad.
The doctor gave 2 options - painful and painless. Painful could give faster results so ofc I went with it.
Ended up having 12 needles stuck up in my leg. He said let's start with the foot in the next appointment. No, it's not acupuncture, it's dry needling, which according to chat GPT is much more painful and agressive than acupuncture.
My soul had left my body by the end. I tried to be brave for the most part, but the last few needles were wayyyy too painful. Apparently that's a good thing, it means they found the damaged tissue (trigger point) whatever.
I'm leaving for my next appointment in 20 minutes. Gonna go the painless way this time. I just wanna be healed. Makes me so sad and hopeless. Doc said it can take upto 15 to 20 freaking sessions. Gosh.
hbeiagbr
I slept at 9 PM and am up at 3 AM from a bad nightmare. I've sort of drunk texted my school best friend because I miss her and 3 AM is the most vulnerable time. I wish I was still sleeping.
hbeiagbr
Weink's author portal is LIIIVEEEE!!! Almost an year of working on it and here we have it, the very first version out worldwide!
For those who don't know, Weink is an app that PAYS every single author from the ad revenue generated on their book, no matter how famous or infamous your book is, no matter if you have 10 reads or 10 Million reads. You get paid!
With the author portal launch, now everyone can have their ongoing books in the app! Earlier there could only be completed books that they were accepting.
So go have a look all my lovely author friends! It's for people like you and me - spending endless night creating stories and wishing at the end if they could also earn from it.
If you're interested, sign up on the android or ios app, then log into the portal on your laptops or computers (its web only) and enjoyyyy!
If you have any questions or thoughts, ping me anytime, I'll be beyond happy answering and listening to you!
I'm just so happyyyyy that is finally happening Aaaaaaaaaaa
hbeiagbr
Hi guys, I sprained my foot on Friday evening. First 36 hours were horrible, full of crying. Then it got better. One of the doctors says there are 2 hairline fractures, the other rejects it saying they are most probably artifacts in the xray.
I should get it checked again maybe, but I spent 5 hours in the hospital on Saturday, no mood to spend another day there.
The swelling hasn't gone down, but the pain meds are working like magic. Still pains like crazy when I move my foot. But yeah. That was a little life update.