Parker

Are you alive????

Don’t forget to hydrate

My cousin is obsessed with K-Pop demon hunters and is also a nepotistic little dweeb so here’s ur free clout Benji: 
          (I’m helping them write it cuz they suffer from dumb disease. Jk Benji ur so talented and cool. Read it if you like teenagers simping over hot demon boys)
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/401851981?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=hellllllnah

Random Parker rant to fill the void:
          
          Crazy Taylor swift parasocial fanatics honestly make me want to earnestly listen to Taylor Swifts music just so i can flex on these weirdos for enjoying an artist’s music without feeling some weird entitlement to complete fantasies someone had about the artist being validated for no reason other than my own delusions. Like, I think Taylor Swift is definitely a bit of a petty nepo baby at times, but i wholeheartedly wouldn’t wish the kind of delusional fanbase she has on even my worst enemies.
          
          (In case you’re curious what I’m talking about, there are people out there getting genuinely upset and personally offended that Taylor Swift, the worlds least lesbian woman, is engaged to a masculine man and hasn’t come out as a raging lesbian despite her being very clearly straight, or at the very most a straight-leaning bisexual. Like there are people who genuinely had their months ruined over a woman being happily engaged to a man. Like. No matter how much delusional gaydar readings you have over someone you don’t even know, you legitimately should seek mental help if learning someone who clearly isn’t gay, isn’t gay, is enough to ruin your whole month)

I am screaming and crying and simultaneously becoming a believer and denier of god because WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN that 4-time Super Bowl champion hall-of-famer Lynn Swann was the inspiration for the concept of HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL because he just so happened to be HIGH SCHOOL BUDS WITH Peter Barsocchini, the writer of high school musical, who was INSPIRED to write a movie for his daughter based off of a moment in high school when Lynn Swann confided in Peter Barsocchini that HE DOES BALLET?!? LIKE WHAT. Lynn Swann is the real life Troy Bolton except instead of Basketball and acting it’s football and ballet and I’m SOBBING how tf is this real life

Oh shi guys my bad I uh was at the store looking for milk but i accidentally decided to drink every single one just to check how they tasted uh and i did that in every store in my general area uh so needless to say I’ve been busy but uh how’ve yall been?

Hey I know you stopped having ideas for "Texas Time" but I have an idea/theory 
          
          Since Texas now lives at his Abuelos' old farm that means there is maybe a forest nearby right? 
          ( Correct me if I am wrong )
           Soo what if Texas Nightmare comes true?
          

You alive?

It’s so funny to me when I get comments from people who clearly have not read my book who skip to the last chapter and write some shi like ‘Your story is inspiring and your voice deserves to be heard by everyone! Come to my page and maybe I can help-‘ 
          
          Like lmao- you commented this on a fanfic of landmasses I made while I was in middle school, nah, I’m not interested in your business, and nah, I don’t believe you actually read a single word of my story. Keep on that hustle tho! Probably works for some of them

I am not a swiftie by any means and I find her music to be mostly alright but I can’t stop shaking my badonk to cruel summer 
          
          Anyway back to hibernation