ʚ♡ɞ

i’m drunk and still miss u

i try and try and try. i’m a try hard. i’m a lot. i’m a lot of things (i can list a ton of negatives) but i’m also still human. i’m tired. tired of feeling like im putting on a show just for nobody to watch. sometimes i wonder if i am really a good person or if im doing too much. so much to think about and not enough time 

many what-ifs and i wonders. i just need to come to terms with things and appreciate them for what they are. not everything is ocean deep but rather a surface level experience. i shouldn’t dwell on the past or wait for others to remember me. i should thank the people who have come into my life, for better or worse, and leave it be. thank you, m. you made me realize a lot about myself and changed the trajectory of my future; wether that be a bad or good thing, i’m unsure of. i am one step closer to finding who i am and i will add you to the mosaic of who i am. you are a piece of me that shapes me as a whole. thank you fully, wholly, and sincerely, m. i am letting you go; or at least i’m trying to. breathe in and out and let peace, love, and happiness find me instead of forcing it where the pieces do not fit. <3

dying for another connection but i feel like im cheating. man fuck you honestly ! 

breathe in. breathe out. i’m not the person you think i am. 

remember to always take ur meds bc otherwise you’ll end up in an hypomanic state and become so impulsive and almost get arrested <3

i feel like i’m gonna vomit from feeling like this. i’m disgusted honestly 

i cannot stress thing enough, FUCK feelings 

i feel a little stupid but ultimately, thank you. i have now learned from this and will continue to push forward despite you. thank god it was early on and i never told you everything. you are a sad, pathetic, little man. may you find peace but experience what you’ve done to me first. thank you for showing me your true colors. i’m genuinely upset but at the same time grateful. thank fucking god. 

i hate that i feel so deeply and take on others emotions. i hate it but yet i wouldn’t change it either. i want so much but it’s extremely early on. i hope things get better as time goes.