ʚ♡ɞ

i long for peace. i simply want to live without my presence causing issues for others. i want to be happy and at peace with myself. i care a lot and it unfortunately is my downfall. why can’t i be enough for myself? 

young as i want to know
          i’ll never let you go

finishing eight or nine
          tell me, what's the perfect time
          i told you i'll been waiting
          hiding from the rainfall
          tell me what's the joy of giving if you're never pleased 

i am a mosaic of everything and everyone i’ve ever loved 

to be loved is to be seen

i feel so pathetic sometimes. like why is it the littlest things cause me to break down so significantly? i just want to be ok. i just wish to be normal. i want someone to hold me. i feel so pathetic and so childish saying that. i’m tired of day in and day out of being strong and not showing my emotions. i just want someone to comfort me. i feel like i’m losing control over everything and i just need someone to talk me down. is that too much to ask for?

i’m drunk and still miss u

i try and try and try. i’m a try hard. i’m a lot. i’m a lot of things (i can list a ton of negatives) but i’m also still human. i’m tired. tired of feeling like im putting on a show just for nobody to watch. sometimes i wonder if i am really a good person or if im doing too much. so much to think about and not enough time 

many what-ifs and i wonders. i just need to come to terms with things and appreciate them for what they are. not everything is ocean deep but rather a surface level experience. i shouldn’t dwell on the past or wait for others to remember me. i should thank the people who have come into my life, for better or worse, and leave it be. thank you, m. you made me realize a lot about myself and changed the trajectory of my future; wether that be a bad or good thing, i’m unsure of. i am one step closer to finding who i am and i will add you to the mosaic of who i am. you are a piece of me that shapes me as a whole. thank you fully, wholly, and sincerely, m. i am letting you go; or at least i’m trying to. breathe in and out and let peace, love, and happiness find me instead of forcing it where the pieces do not fit. <3

dying for another connection but i feel like im cheating. man fuck you honestly !